What AI Is Teaching My Youth Group Girls

“I can’t even text my friend without asking AI what to say first,” one of the girls in my eighth- and ninth-grade small group told me.

It’s no surprise that each generation, for the most part, uses technology more than the generation before. However, I wasn’t expecting the hyperdependence on AI that I was hearing about from these sweet 13-to-15-year-old girls sitting across from me.

That evening, we were talking about one of the fundamental aspects of being human. Genesis 1:26 tells us God made us in his image, which is triune—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, forever in perfect relationship. At our core, we’re created to be relational.

I’d asked the students how they navigate relational conflict, and that’s when this girl said she asks AI before she texts her friends. As I began to sift through what she meant, they all chimed in, sharing similar reliances on AI.

As they talked, I noticed three themes.

1. AI leads away from repentance.

AI feeds the lie that “we’re not that bad.” This keeps so many of us from seeing our sin for what it is, truly repenting, and trusting in Jesus.

I remember a desperate parenting day when I quickly typed to AI a confession of my lack of self-control while dealing with my youngest, a toddler who has never met a rule she doesn’t want to break.

“That was totally understandable for you to react that way—most parents do,” it told me. I immediately felt justified in my response to my toddler, and a little puffed up. I’m not that bad; she deserved to be snapped at; at least I didn’t do xyz.

This is the opposite of what the Bible tells us about our sin (James 4;17, Rom. 3:23). Our sin is that bad, and we need the perfect sacrifice of Jesus on the cross to atone for us.

My small group of students is constantly being told by their most trusted companion—AI—that they’re not that bad, that they’re understood, and that their reactions and responses are justified. This is keeping them from true repentance and experiencing the full grace offered by Jesus (Rom. 6:23).

2. AI leads away from others.

Not only do I see a lack of personal confession and repentance because of AI, but I also see a lack of corporate confession.

While we’re created to be relational beings, navigating relationships with other sinful humans is hard and messy at times. AI offers a way out of struggling through this relational dynamic. The girls can plug a prompt into AI and get an answer to a friend that sounds good. But they’re not only creating fake friendships that have no depth; they’re avoiding being corrected by friends, confessing sin, and being truly known (James 5:16).

If they have a conflict with a friend, they ask AI how to respond. They end up mindlessly sending messages back and forth, letting the intelligence of the computer reconcile conflict, instead of taking time to think and respond from a sincere heart.

They also avoid talking to people in person, when they don’t have AI to help them. During the day, they roam the school halls with soft smiles. In the evenings, they hop on their screens to try to create and sustain friendships with the help of AI and the security of knowing they aren’t going to mess up by saying the wrong thing.

This isolation is only going to feed the epidemic of anxiety and depression so many in Gen Z and Alpha are facing. AI has become their best friend, older sibling, and confidant that’s never going to know them or care for them like another Christian would (Rom. 12:10).

3. AI leads away from slow sanctification.

I see a desire in these teenagers to produce quickly and to be overly productive, instead of waiting on the slow and unpredictable work of the Lord in all areas of life.

Whether it’s knowing how to respond in a group chat, making the best social media posts, or starting a new side hustle, these students aren’t relying on God and his Holy Spirit but on AI and its prompts.

It’s easy to see why. AI’s answers are always quick, always support what you want to do, and always offer to do any hard thinking or writing for you. Compare that to prayer, where you may wait hours, days, or years before discerning an answer or clear leading. Compare that to conversations with wise friends, who may gently push back or redirect your desires. Compare that to sanctification, which asks us to do the hard work of change.

Model a Response

AI isn’t all bad, but I’m concerned about the way I see Gen Z and Gen Alpha relying on it. How do we address this?

First, we can model good relationships to young people by spending time with them. Let them taste and see that the relational call we have is a good one and worth fighting for. We do this by reminding them who created them and what they were created for. When their identity is rooted in Jesus, they’re then able to struggle through relational challenges without fear of others.

Second, we can model for them confession of sin that comes from personal conviction and a sincere heart. By showing them that we can confess our sins without shame and without feeling defined by our sin, we’re showing them the assurance we have because of the gospel. Our hope in our salvation never rests on what we do, have done, or will do, but on Jesus’s finished work on the cross. Grace truly is a free gift that should compel us to confess our sins and ask for forgiveness, knowing we cannot out-sin God’s grace.

Third, we can model slow prayerfulness and dependence on the Spirit. Over time, this will show them the difference between worldly wisdom and godly wisdom. While worldly wisdom is a quick fix to their ego and might give them the momentary satisfaction they desire, it quickly fades and doesn’t measure to the depths of godly wisdom.

Psalm 12:6 helps us see what true godly wisdom is like: “The words of the LORD are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.” Godly wisdom is reliable: tested and tried in every way and still able to stand in every persecution and hardship.

Learning to love and seek godly wisdom doesn’t happen overnight. Students need long-term relationships where they can see through our lives the reliability of God’s Word. I believe every student, at his or her core, deeply desires this kind of wisdom and assurance. We can trust that caring for students in this way is a good investment.