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When Became About Me, Myself, and I

Why do we marry today?

According to Eli Finkel’s The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work, we get married—and should get married—for our individual wellbeing.

Finkel—a professor of psychology at Northwestern University—says we desire more from potential spouses than in previous eras: not just shelter and survival, or love and intimacy; we demand self-actualization, in an “all-or-nothing” paradigm of personal fulfillment. Finkel argues that such lofty expectations lead to more fulfilling marriages, but also with fewer couples able to attain them.

The book follows a historical argument to explain how we came to this understanding of marriage, and to suggest how we can make it work. According to Finkel, marriage in America has undergone three eras: pragmatic, love-based, and self-expressive.

In the colonial era, marriage followed…


When Became About Me, Myself, and I

The fundamental posture of marriages that flourish is not self-service but self-giving.

Do You Believe in Miracles?

Cosper invites discouraged, doubtful, and even jaded readers to see their mundane lives through a different lens.

Let’s Transgress Racial Walls

Our discussion of race must include place.

The Roots of Protestantism Are Ancient

Stewart disputes that the pathway to ancient Christianity requires a move to Rome or the East.