Struggling with Prayer? Ask God for Help.

Prayer is hard for me.

You may not have expected that to be the opening line of an article on prayer. When we seek out resources on a topic, we typically want an expert opinion, tried-and-true tips, or something aspirational. I’m not an expert, but of all the spiritual disciplines, prayer is the one I’ve seen God grow the most in my life in recent years.

I’ve grown from someone who shrugged off my lack of fervor in prayer as “not my gift” to someone who looks forward to getting up early to pray—and praying all throughout the day.

One of the most important things I’ve learned about growing in prayer is that the best place to start isn’t finding a new note-card system or journal—it’s admitting our struggle to God and asking him to help us pray.

Know Your Need

During Jesus’s earthly ministry, people talked with him and came to him for healing and salvation. In a way, these men and women in the New Testament modeled prayer, how to talk to God.

Consider the father who brought his demon-possessed son to Jesus in Mark 9. This man came brokenhearted over his son. He was exhausted from saving his son from the demon’s repeated attempts to harm him. You can imagine the pain in this father’s voice:

“If you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately, the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (vv. 22–24)

This father uttered only five words, but they’re an example of the proper heart posture of prayer. He didn’t know exactly what to say, but he knew his need could be met only by Jesus. Only the desperate come to God for healing, salvation, and daily bread. You don’t have to come with eloquent words, and you don’t have to come with perfect faith. But you must know your need, or you’ll never come.

Making prayer a priority—a discipline—offers us a way to be daily reminded of our true condition. If you struggle to pray, take time to remember your need for God. Consider your dependence on God for every breath. Consider your sinfulness and the even greater grace of Christ. Come to Jesus like this father, and ask him to help your unbelief: Lord, I believe prayer is important. I know I need you. Help my unbelief. Help me pray.

Seek God’s Help

Praying for God’s help to pray may sound odd, but it’s a prayer we can offer with confidence. God doesn’t give any command that he doesn’t also give the necessary grace to live out. He’ll help us pray. He already has in his Word.

If you struggle to pray, take time to remember your need for God.

We find examples of prayer all over the Bible, and we can find help for how to pray in any of Scripture’s recorded prayers. But a good place to start is the prayer Jesus taught his disciples in Matthew 6:9–13, commonly called the Lord’s Prayer.

There’s not one “right” way to pray, but in the Lord’s Prayer, we find scaffolding for our prayers. When we pray, we come with many needs. The Lord’s Prayer teaches us to make God the focus of our prayers and let all our requests flow from his work and character. We can boldly approach him as our Father as we also reverence his name.

Praying for the furthering of his kingdom and the supremacy of his will before addressing our needs helps put our requests in the right perspective. Asking for daily bread and for forgiveness reminds us that God cares about and ultimately provides for both our physical and our spiritual needs. And we’re reminded that we must extend forgiveness to others. Finally, praying for deliverance from evil reminds us that we must turn to the Lord and rely on him for resisting temptation.

God will help us pray. He already has in his Word.

God understands our weakness and our struggle with prayer. In Luke’s Gospel, Jesus gave the Lord’s Prayer after the disciples said, “Teach us to pray” (11:1). They admitted that prayer is hard—or that at a minimum they didn’t know what to say. Jesus didn’t rebuke them. Instead, he gave them words for their prayers. And he gave those words to help us too.

Rest in the Spirit’s Work

Jesus does more than give us words we can pray. He’s also praying for us (Rom. 8:34), and his Spirit is working within us. Paul writes in Romans 8:26 that the Spirit “helps us in our weakness” because we don’t always know what to pray. When we’re at a loss, the Spirit is praying for us. When our words fail us, the Spirit never does. There isn’t a prayer spoken (or left unspoken) that the Spirit doesn’t guide and make complete by his power.

God expects us to talk to him because we’re in a relationship with him. He wants us to bring our requests, offer praise, and confess our sins, but he doesn’t leave us to figure it all out on our own. If we want to grow in prayer, we can make the disciples’ request our prayer: “Lord, teach us to pray.”