“Don’t go to the mission field as a single person. Get married first and then go.”
That was the advice I received from an experienced, godly missionary when I expressed my interest in serving cross-culturally. While her intentions were good, I’m so glad I had other believers who were giving me counsel at the time. Why? Because choosing to follow God overseas was the best decision I’ve ever made. And moving alone to a foreign place has been a journey of increasing intimacy with God.
If the Christian life is about learning to walk in faithful dependence on Christ, being a single missionary is a crash course in discipleship. It’s an expedition filled with laughter, fear, hope, pain, and potential. It’s a road of continual humbling as you realize you can’t even do the littlest things on your own, like order food, take transportation, or pay your bills. But best of all, it’s a voyage sustained by God’s provision and filled with his presence.
God’s Provision
When you move outside your passport culture, there’s an enormous learning curve. Everything is a bit harder. Typically, missionary couples tackle these challenges as a team. But when you face them as a single person, you’re regularly invited (forced?) to see God as your only source of help. Everything is stripped away until you see clearly that it’s God alone who provides and cares for your needs.
One time, my plane was grounded for 72 hours in a foreign city where I knew no one. I couldn’t speak the language, and the airline wasn’t translating any of the announcements into English. So I did the only thing I could do: I prayed. Moments later, a soft-spoken woman appeared at my elbow and started explaining the situation in flawless English. She was a professional translator who saw me looking bewildered.
Over the years, I’ve had many moments like that when I was alone and helpless, but God provided a kind helper to keep me safe. When I was homesick and missing my family, I asked God to provide friends to fill that gap. In answer to my prayers, I soon had families adopt me and invite me into their “family times,” including holiday traditions and a weekly family dinner.
When I’ve been ill—which is especially challenging for a single person—God has supplied friends to buy groceries, provide prepared food, or even drop off flowers. Then there have been countless hard moments when only God knew the weightiness of ministry or my personal loneliness. And somehow, those were always the moments where he had someone encourage me, reminding me he is faithful, near, and at work. It’s when we’re confronted with our own fragility that we’re able to most clearly see God’s sustaining hand.
It’s when we’re confronted with our own fragility that we’re able to see most clearly God’s sustaining hand.
God’s Presence
In addition to enjoying God’s provisions, I’ve learned to walk in his presence. Since I’m constantly out of my comfort zone, I’m pushed to pray continuously, keeping an open dialogue with God. This has taught me to be more conscious of the Holy Spirit. When we feel independent and self-sufficient, we’re frequently unaware of God’s presence. The regular reminder of my insufficiency attunes me to God’s nearness.
Living alone overseas has provided more opportunities for stillness with God. In the moments when it seems like I should be experiencing something with family or a partner, I’m reminded to savor the presence of God. Birthdays, holidays, beautiful scenery, once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and even illnesses are times we want to be with our people. But God’s presence is abundantly sufficient for these moments.
Don’t get me wrong. Serving cross-culturally as a single person has its challenges. Sometimes God seems distant or we see no ministry fruit. And those who long to be married have to continually give that desire back to God. Many single missionaries and cross-cultural workers serve where they have no opportunities to meet other single believers.
The regular reminder of my insufficiency attunes me to God’s nearness
Single missionaries must serve in faith that God wants them on the field and is good and kind to provide for all their needs and desires—even if the desire for marriage is never met. Entrusting God with your singleness is a daily battle, especially when the loneliness is overwhelming. It involves weekly, daily, hourly choices to believe that what God is giving you today is good because he is good. And because his presence is enough.
Following and Finding God
My journey as a single cross-cultural worker has been good because of God’s faithful provision and presence. At the same time, I understand what my friend was warning me about many years ago. Singleness adds complexity to missions even while it adds opportunities. We as singles have more freedom and flexibility; we also face unique challenges.
But if you told me you wanted to serve as a single missionary, I would respond differently than my friend. This would be my answer: “God is faithful. If he’s calling you, he’ll be all that you need. If you’re willing to grow closer to God, to know him more, and to walk in daily dependence, come join us.” Because the harvest is plentiful, and the journey is blessed.