If you think you don’t struggle with envy, imagine your response when your friends get back from their third beach vacation of the year or a coworker (perhaps underqualified) gets picked for the promotion you’ve been eyeing.
The sneaky thing about envy is that it’s not limited to large things like a secure job or fantastic health, nor limited to something long-term like a good retirement plan.
We can be envious of the tiniest, most temporary things, like a person’s clean car (when ours is constantly littered with goldfish crumbs) or the steady stream of impressive food pictures our social-media friend shares (when we always sit down to another meal of leftovers). Just last week, for example, I was walking around my city, giving the side-eye to tomato plants that looked taller than mine. Envy is not limited by size.
Just last week, I was walking around my city, giving the side-eye to tomato plants that looked taller than mine. Envy is not limited by size.
I am, at the core, a very envious person. Writing it out like that makes it seem neat and tidy. Manageable, even. But it’s not. Envy is a foolproof way to ruin your relationships and spoil your attempts at productivity. (Ask me how I know.) God says it best: “Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before envy?” (Prov. 27:4).
Envy’s Rotten Fruit
Because God is gracious, he is faithfully revealing this sin in my heart and showing me the many ways it presents itself in my relationships, whether in person or online.
Sometimes envy presents itself as anger, when someone gets noticed for an achievement I wanted, or as refusal to acknowledge good things others accomplish because I don’t want them stealing attention that could be mine.
Other times envy makes me extremely unproductive; I keep wondering what other people are doing and whether they’re doing it better than me. But perhaps a more dangerous outcome of envy is my tendency to resist friendship, since asking for help implies I need people. And of course, I can’t easily need people if I’m envious of them.
Perhaps some of these “envious fruits” sound familiar to you, too? They all boil down to the sin of pride. I want to be the best, so I become envious of people who are better. Here are five ways the Spirit is teaching and empowering me to fight this sin.
1. Fill my mind with the words of God.
The two verses that are constantly on repeat for me are these: “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’” (Heb. 13:5) and “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s” (Ex. 20:17).
When I fill my mind with the words of God, the Spirit uses them to bring my envious heart more in line with his.
2. Repent as soon as the Spirit reveals my envious thoughts and actions.
Ask God for help to fight this sin, and for grace to extend true love that “does not envy” (1 Cor. 13:4).
Sometimes I talk to God about my potential envy before I even walk into a social situation. It’s sort of like identifying the enemy before you walk onto the battlefield (only in my case, it’s me walking into someone’s beautiful house or seeing their life’s work).
3. Ask God to bless the person I’m envious of.
I ask God to bless them in their walk with him, their relationships, job, and ministries. But this is the kicker: I ask God to prosper and protect them—to increase their influence and keep their heart for his glory alone. It’s a kicker because I’m asking God to do for them what I want him to do for me (and me alone).
4. Reach out for help and advice.
Asking others for help forces me to stop pretending I’m self-sufficient and don’t need anything.
Asking others for help forces me to stop pretending I’m self-sufficient and don’t need anything.
When I reach out with my needs, I must acknowledge others’ wisdom and expertise. Instead of being an envious fool whose way “is right in his own eyes,” I want to be a wise person who “listens to advice” (Prov. 12:15).
5. Give generously when people ask for help, friendship, or advice.
Sometimes people ask me for advice and I respond stingily, because I don’t want them to have more success than I do. But God’s Word tells me to “be generous and ready to share” (1 Tim. 6:18). Instead of worrying about the outcome and whether someone might become more prosperous, I want to give abundantly as the Lord leads.
Continuing Battle
I’ve struggled with this sin for a long time. Some seasons have been more difficult than others, of course, but even years after the Spirit first convicted me, I still battle it.
However, by God’s grace and in the Spirit’s strength, I want to fight this sin and fix my attention not on people around me, but on the One who has promised not to give up on me until I look like Christ. I’m confident that God won’t abandon his good work of eradicating envy from my heart, but “will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6).