I think I saw my first Playboy when I was 8 or 9 years old. My friends and I found it under a bridge while we were out roaming the neighborhood. I wouldn’t come into contact with pornographic material again until middle school, when a friend discovered where his father stashed his dirty magazines. My point is this: it was at least somewhat difficult back then—I’m 37 now—for an adolescent to gain access to porn and fall victim to its searing effects on the human soul. And even for adults who had the legal right to buy such material, there was the potential chilling effect of being seen while making a purchase at the store or having your name attached to a subscription.
No longer. With the advent of the digital age, raunchy images are just a click away for virtually anyone and can be viewed secretly. The temptation presented by porn has been heightened and intensified. What an opportune time, then, for biblical counselor Heath Lambert to bless the church with the gift of Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace.
Lambert’s work is positive and full of hope because it invites those struggling with pornography to turn to God and his power in order to conquer this sin. He skillfully brings this central theme down to earth by reminding readers throughout that God’s power is also immensely practical and involves the struggler’s active participation.
Most of the book is spent unpacking eight practical strategies for change, all motivated and empowered by grace. Particularly convicting is Lambert observation that the self-centeredness leading people to look at porn in the first place can also confound efforts to conquer the addiction. His chapter on using sorrow to fight pornography clarifies the difference between worldly sorrow (sadness over losing the earthly things that bring comfort, security, and pleasure) and godly sorrow (sadness over having grieved and offended God). How does someone struggling with porn know which sorrow is present in his life? Lambert suggests the determining factor is whether sorrow leads that person deeper inside himself—where the answers will never be found—or toward God and others. Grace produces godly sorrow, the only kind that can truly lead to victory. Such sorrow will manifest itself by yielding in the struggler a desire for accountability, reconciliation with those hurt by a person’s addiction to porn, and the use of radical measures to fight that addiction.
Radical Measures
My guess is that the chapter on the radical measures Lambert recommends will attract the most attention. Getting serious about winning the battle, Lambert contends, involves considering removing any means to view porn: TV, smartphone, tablet computer, perhaps even the keys to the car. Some will undoubtedly protest that these steps just aren’t realistic. Lambert, anticipating that reaction, says he knows such measures will make life more difficult in some ways but insists the sacrifice is better than drinking the poison of porn. He avoids merely skimming the surface by pointing out that heart change—a love for God and reliance on his powerful grace—must come first and undergird these radical measures, but also that the external steps are important in and of themselves since they give those addicted to porn space to grow and a chance to begin bearing encouraging fruit.
Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace
Heath Lambert
Lambert camps out on several other grace-infused strategies likely to challenge thinking, reveal motives, and open minds. For instance, how many strugglers start asking God for forgiveness for lustful desires (and grace to flee them) in the initial moments of temptation? Are porn addicts seeking Jesus for who he is rather than seeing him as just a tool to conquer this life-dominating sin? What does it look like to embrace new postures of gratitude and humility and truly combat lust and pride, two sins that are never full? How can strugglers be involved in accountability relationships that actually work? Lambert’s explorations of these areas are borne of deep thought and biblical reflection, all the while encouraging strugglers that God will empower believers to do what he demands of them.
Finally Free also stands out because it is, in Lambert’s words, “frank without being filthy.” He is careful with his language; there’s nothing crude, vulgar, or impure. There is absolutely no need to worry that the book might intensify a struggle or create new lust in any way. It’s a completely safe resource for someone struggling with a porn addiction or for family and friends trying to help strugglers out of their sin. The book even includes a worthwhile appendix directed specifically toward the latter.
More Resources
Finally Free is a potentially life-changing work, but despite its strengths, after putting it down I was left with the impression that we need additional Christ-centered resources on this topic, more works that could build on the themes of this book. The tone seems to be speaking mostly to married men. Struggling singles and women may not feel fully engaged, and Lambert’s brief word to the unmarried about using singleness to combat porn may even come off as a little glib.
Lambert also doesn’t spend much time unpacking what freedom actually looks like, nor does he address which steps backward constitute a “bump in the road” and which constitute a relapse that signals a need for more care and attention. Other questions that could be addressed going forward include: What should we all be doing to guard our hearts and eyes—and those of our kids—from the “soft porn” all around us in this hypersexual culture? And are more specific helps needed for those struggling with more deviant forms of pornographic addiction?
All of that notwithstanding, Finally Free is a wonderful resource for tackling this crippling sin in a pure and Christ-centered way. Don’t get caught up in memorizing every nuance of every strategy right off the bat. Better to grasp the overall theme and then get started by picking the handful of strategies that seem most immediately relevant and praying for God’s strength to faithfully build them into your life (or the life of the one you’re helping). Connecting with Christ is the only way to truly defeat this sin, and Lambert encourages readers with stories of men who have done just that. There is hope, but it will never be found by looking inward. That message rings loudly and clearly throughout this book, and it’s a message those wrestling with pornography desperately need to hear.
