Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you. Ps. 139:16-18 (NIV)
Dear heavenly Father, it’s my birthday, and the number seems huge. Yet as vast as the sum of my years seems to me today, vaster and greater are my thoughts of you. The number of my years is calculated merely in terms of decades, but if I tried to “do the math” about your glory and grace, I’d have to count every grain of sand on every beach. With David I honestly say, “How precious to me are your thoughts” (Ps. 139:17).
Father, it’s a source of incredible peace and freedom to know that you’ve ordained all of my days for me. That doesn’t feel like robotic fatalism, rather, robust affection, for you are the perfect Father, and you do all things well. I’m thrilled you’re in control. I won’t live one day more, or one day less, than you decree.
There’s a part of me that would like to turn the clock back for a possible “do-over,” especially for certain stretches of my life; but then again, not really. Your name is Redeemer, and you’re the God who restores years eaten away by locusts. Through Jesus, you’re making all things new, including me.
All I ask is that each day, week, month, or year you appoint for me be filled with a greater grasp of the only love that is better than life—your love for us in Jesus. Father, open the curtains ever wider on the heart-liberating, cosmos-transforming goodness of the gospel of your grace. Everything else will take care of itself. So very Amen I pray, in Jesus’ merciful and mighty name.
