A great word here from Kevin DeYoung:
This is one of the irrefutable laws of leadership: the broader your influence flowing down, the more frequent the complaints can flow back up.
Don’t be surprised by the fiery trials.
Don’t be startled by opposition.
Don’t let the ugliness of manipulation, the weakness of passive-aggressive behavior, and the cowardliness of retaliation took root in your soul.
Be vigilant against self-pity when it spots like gangrene in your heart.
Do leaders deserve all the flack they get at times? Probably not.
Do they deserve all the influence, opportunities, and privileges they’ve been given? Certainly not.
Nothing good comes from feeling sorry for myself when people don’t like my ideas, or misjudge my motives, or forget all the good I’ve done in the past.
Crying out to God is one thing. A very good thing too.
But self-pity is not that. Self-pity is crying out in the echo chamber of my own little world. It’s issuing a lament just to take pleasure in hearing the lament over and over.
You can read the whole thing here.
When was the last sermon you heard of article you read on the sin of self-pity? It seems like a neglected and respectable sin that has been downplayed.
John Piper once made a helpful comparison of boasting and self-pity, both manifestations of pridefulness:
Boasting is the response of pride to success.
Self-pity is the response of pride to suffering.
Boasting says, “I deserve admiration because I have achieved so much.”
Self-pity says, “I deserve admiration because I have suffered so much.”
Boasting is the voice of pride in the heart of the strong.
Self-pity is the voice of pride in the heart of the weak.
Boasting sounds self-sufficient.
Self-pity sounds self-sacrificing.
Piper concludes:
The reason self-pity does not look like pride is that it appears to be so needy. But the need arises from a wounded ego. It doesn’t come from a sense of unworthiness, but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness. It is the response of unapplauded pride.
