How do you take compliments? As bad as our bad days are and as often as they occur, all of us have received a compliment on one occasion or another. But how do you answer the well-meaning brother or sister?
Over the years I have seen folks act like Christian Jedi’s when someone aims to encourage them with kind words. You know the scene.
“I enjoyed the sermon this morning pastor. I appreciated the point you made about Christ being Lord over everything. I needed to hear th….”
“Well, it is all God. I am just a piece of dung.”
“Yes, I know. I just wanted you to be encouraged.”
“Right. (awkwardly) Thanks..err…you’re nice…Have a good day…”
I have watched people struggle in scenes like this. I have been uncomfortable as I carefully measure what the biblical answer would be to the well-meaning encouragement from a friend.
So what do you do?
I once heard Allistair Begg say, “Compliments are like perfume: ok to sniff, but deadly to drink.”
I think this is a good place to start.
We love worship. We enjoy being the chorus of people’s personal praise songs. We often times silently hum our own worship songs of ourselves in our heads. So if someone else is going to sing along then we, in our flesh, love it.
However, if someone is telling you that you have been edifying to them, are they actually commending you?
Think about it. Someone is saying that they have been edified by you, either in something you said or did; how does this redound in praise to you? “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Cor. 4.7)
Edification is a spiritual accomplishment. God does use human means but the human is baptized into the Son and fueled with power from on high. No amount of true spiritual edification and growth comes as a result of our fallen flesh. God has done this great thing! Not us! How supremely unbiblical, and frankly idolatrous it is for folks to take a compliment from someone that is intended to ascribe glory to God and ascribe it to yourself.
I believe the biblical mindset would be to hear the kind words and immediately think, “God is doing something here, because in my flesh I cannot.” It is fine to say, “Thank you.” Let folks know that they are encouraging you, bringing you joy in Christ and being reminded that God is faithfully building his church through the Word of God.
A true test of our gospel-centeredness is whether or not compliments serve to bring humility or incite pride. Do we silently pound our chests and say, “that’s right.” Or do we say, “Christ you are awesome! Be glorified!”
