“Are you loved and kept by Jesus?” This was what ran through Tom Olson’s mind when he knew he was called to be a pastor and thought about the woman he would marry one day. He wasn’t looking for someone who felt called to be a “pastor’s wife,” he wanted to marry someone who was called to follow and be loved by Jesus. Brad Wetherell remembers his days in seminary when wise brothers would pray alongside him to find a wife that was called to love and follow Christ—a “partner in ministry.”
For the past nine episodes of Front Row Seat, we’ve heard encouragement and wisdom from pastors’ wives on topics like nourishing our marriages, raising pastors’ kids, cultivating deep relationships, and more. This time, we’ve invited the pastors themselves to join us for a conversation, and we encourage you to invite your husband along too.
For the final episode of this season of Front Row Seat, Kristen Wetherell and Kari Olson are joined by their husbands, Brad Wetherell and Tom Olson, who serve as campus pastors at The Orchard. They discuss the importance of being partners in ministry as a couple, how seminary students can invite their wives into their learning, following God’s calling together, and how to prioritize each other amid the busyness of raising children and caring for those within the local church.
Episode time stamps:
- Introduction to Tom Olson and Brad Wetherell (00:00)
- Pastors’ wives and seminary (6:46)
- Don’t leave your wife behind (9:11)
- How to find the right dynamic (12:35)
- Using your unique gifts to serve (16:12)
- Pastoring and leading your family well (17:45)
- Being aware of our dependence on the Lord (20:40)
- Engage vs. disengage (22:26)
- Keep taking your wife out on dates (24:16)
- Standing fast in the Lord (28:20)
- Importance of prioritizing one another (30:08)
- Giving your best pastorally and in marriage (33:07)
- Praying for the power of words and God’s Word (36:39)
Transcript
The following is an uncorrected transcript generated by a transcription service. Before quoting in print, please check the corresponding audio for accuracy.
Kari Olson
Well, welcome to front row seat conversations of encouragement for pastors, wives, by pastors wives. Kristen, that really has been our goal, this whole series. It’s been encouragement from the topics that we came up with and the questions that we asked to the people we invited to be our guests here with us. You know, we really wanted our listeners to be encouraged. And you and I talked and one voice that we need to and want to join this conversation of encouragement for pastors wives, is the voice of the pastor, for the pastor to speak in to this conversation was so important to us, but And who better for us to ask to join us on our show. But our own husbands, Tom, and Brad, welcome to front row seat. We’re so happy to have you here. Great to be here. Well, typically, we have our guests introduce themselves, and tell a little bit about where their ministry is, and maybe a little bit about their family. And so we’d love for you guys to do that. Just introduce yourselves a little bit and maybe add how you met. You’re amazing.
Tom Olson
Yeah, I can. I can kick us off. So I’m Tom. I’m married to Kari. We have three kiddos Ketty. Toby and Tommy 16 1411. Two girls and a boy. Yeah, and right now, I serve as pastor of the orchard in Barrington, Orchard Evangelical Free Church and Barrington. We’re multisite church. So I lead one of the congregations you’re going to hear a repeat of that. And just a second, I think. But I’ve been in this role for about 10 years been on staff at the church for about 15 years now actually over 15 years. But in this particular role for for 10 years. And yeah, we met at Wheaton College during our junior year, I think I was singing at the talent show. And I like to think you took notice of me, but probably at the end of the day was the other way around. And I kept asking you out, you said no a couple of times because you were busy. But then finally you said yes,
Kari Olson
I did. We were off to the races. We’re off to the races. And you know what I remember about us, dating at Wheaton and starting to fall in love. And I remember you saying, you know, I called to be a pastor, I want to be a pastor. And, and I was like, that is so God’s gonna be so amazing for you. It’s just gonna be so great for you. And, you know, I never felt necessarily be a calling to ministry as a pastor’s wife specifically. But I always knew I would be a part of the local church.
Tom Olson
Well, I don’t want to steal the thunder from where we’re going. But I do think that in talking about how we met, I remember I don’t know who got that got at me on this very early in my life when I was a kid. But you know, that was really the saying that I remember replying to you as you don’t have to feel called to be a pastor’s wife just are you called beloved and kept, you know, like Jesus says, are you called beloved and kept by Jesus? Are you called to live a faithful Christian life? That’s I wasn’t looking for a woman who was called to be a pastor’s wife. I was looking for a woman who’s called the follow Jesus. Yeah.
Kari Olson
Well said. Yeah. So Brad, what about you? What’s your story?
Brad Wetherell
Well, I’m also a pastor at the orchard. I serve at our Arlington Heights location, where Tom and I first met that was your question right? Where to Tom and I do love and now but my first job at our church was serving as Tom’s intern. So that’s my, my, my beginnings and but love serving our church. And I always tell the story of when we met. So I think you should tell it and then I can see if I want to film anything and see
Kristen Wetherell
if you want to correct it, because that sometimes happens. Right? We’ll find facts about the four of us is Tom officiated our wedding. And you both did our premarital counseling. So that’s been that’s been a really fun part of our journey together. No, about 10 years ago, exactly. Actually. I came to the orchard and the Lord brought me here and I was employed as the Assistant Director of children’s ministries and Brad just happened to be on staff as well. You were you the In high school and middle school pastor at that point, yeah. So he, he asked me on a date, this is where the contention comes in because he has a different side of that story. But he asked me on a date and the rest is history.
Brad Wetherell
Except she asked me on a date. That’s how I started. If I don’t know what, or do you want to go out to lunch with me is maybe our first date, but it’s okay. We don’t need to hash that all out right side cameras.
Tom Olson
In here, though, I also remember how you guys met kind of because Kristen was introduced at a staff meeting. And Brad and I were hanging out that night, and I was about to ask him. So what do you think, Kristen? And Brad just goes, I already like her. I already want to ask her. Don’t ask me any more questions. It all worked out great.
Kari Olson
And see where the Lord has brought you guys see where the Lord has brought us and we’re really so thankful to be serving together alongside with you here in this at this church in the Chicagoland area. So we have, we have two pastors with us. So we’re gonna we’re gonna pepper you guys with some questions here about pastors wives. Think back to seminary all the way back to seminary for us about 18 years ago. What about for you, Brad?
Brad Wetherell
Eight years ago now? Okay, seven, eight. Yeah.
Kari Olson
Seven, eight. So while in seminary, did they? I know you didn’t take a pastor’s wives one on one class. But did they talk about wives marriage and ministry at all? What what do you remember from seminary in the way that they prepared you?
Tom Olson
Yeah, I mean, when it comes to seminary, I just remember discussion, that it can be hard for a pastor’s wife. So kind of getting us tuned into that. And, you know, there’s a quote that pretty much every pastor at our church quotes all the time, from Robert Murray McShane, you know, who said, the greatest need of my peep from of my people as their pastor is my own personal holiness, just talking to overflow of your own walk with Jesus into pastoral ministry. And I remember the same mentality being like, kind of riffing off that, quote, mentality I got from seminary was a lot of what my people need, or what your people are needing is for you to be cultivating a healthy marriage. And so, like, we got a lot of advice to really make sure we were cultivating a healthy marriage. I don’t know if anybody ever sat me down and said that, but that was, that was definitely the ethos of the way our our school I felt like was pouring into us at that time.
Brad Wetherell
Yeah, the unique thing for me is, I was in seminary for five years, because I got a year and a half in full time school and then started full time at our church had to go part time route the rest of the way. But for the first four of those five years, I was not married. And so I’m sure there was lots of good advice, or lots of wise words being shared. And I just wasn’t listening. I think my focus was more on Lord, I would love to find a wife and but I think even that, in talking with some wise mentors, and others ahead of me, just affirming that as a very good desire and praying for me, specifically, Lord, give him not just a wife, but a partner in ministry. And I think Tom, there’s we need to come back and keep hashing out what you rightly said earlier, just looking for someone called to serve Christ and follow Him. But there is a there is that certain need in pastoral ministry to have a partner by your side, who’s supportive and is with you. And I’m so glad people prayed that for me. And God answered that prayer. Yeah, yeah.
Kari Olson
That’s so good. There was one, one piece of advice that really stuck out to me that you got,
Tom Olson
oh, yeah. And that was actually from my mentor in college. Oh, it was just who said Don’t leave your wife behind. He’s like, you’re gonna go on this theological journey in seminary, but I really extrapolated off of seminary too. So he was like, share with your wife, what what you’re learning. So you’re not like diving into just the glories of doctrine, but not like bringing your wife with you along on that journey. And that didn’t mean me like going home and repeating lectures, but just like sharing a nugget of truth that excited me. But I think that also had the ripple effect. When we were in seminary. Have we invested in a small group at church, rather than investing just in some buddies at seminary? Because I had a buddy who went through seminary and did leave his wife behind any may had all these friends at seminary and his wife just kind of felt in a lurch. So kind of actually between that buddy, but then that mentor in college, they’re like, just really, really dial in your focus on making sure making sure your wife feels a part of your life, which I think we’ve tried to continue to this day because it is you’re having these intensive conversations with people, whether in pastoral counseling, or whether with the board about the vision of the church, and you’re having a lot of intense conversations that are very meaningful to you, not just personally but vocationally and spiritually, and if you’re not finding ways to involve your, your wife, and you just you kind of leave her in the dust. Yeah, you get that situation where she becomes the last person to know about what’s happening at church. And people are like, hey, Carrie, what’s going on at the church? And she’s like, I don’t know, you know, because I’ve done that. I told everybody about you. Yeah.
Kristen Wetherell
Yeah. So let’s talk a little bit about that time. And Brad, because I think that a pastor’s wife could also become too involved, right? So you have these extremes, where you perhaps, you know, end up leaving her behind, and she’s doesn’t feel like she’s enough involved. And then you have over involvement. Can you talk to us a little bit about that? What does that look like to strike that right? Balance?
Brad Wetherell
I’d love it if I knew exactly what it looked like to strike the right balance every time. But I just I can say from without being specific at all, and talking about points where we’ve discussed, like, hey, this doesn’t seem good. I do think there can be an oversharing and an over dependence upon your spouse as the person to process everything with when really, I want to be careful, because I want you to love the church. And you don’t need to know every challenge and every difficulty. And even though I know you want to support me, and you want to know when I’m having a hard day or when things are going in a way that is particularly challenging to me, you don’t need to know all the details of what it may be. And so I think at times, perhaps the it would be an under shear for to come home and say How was the day at church? How are things going? They say, Oh, it’s fine, you know, it’s great and say nothing, it could be an overshare, to say, well, let me tell you exactly the problem I’ve had today, and with whom I’ve had that problem, and then coloring your vision of our church in a way that’s not necessarily want you to love the church. And yeah, now that’d be one thought.
Tom Olson
I agree with everything Brad said. I would also add, I think there’s seasons of life to that. When we had real little kids, it’s it’s just not practical for us both to be involved in the life of the church, in the same way as now that we have teenagers and our kids can brush their own teeth and put themselves to bed. And even right now our oldest is going to pick up everybody from Awana and take them home, you know, so there’s just an opportunity. But I would say you got to find the right dynamic. One story that comes to mind on this question is when I was a high school pastor, and we just had our second. So we had a three year old and a one year old. And we were just not finding the right blend. And it was actually carried jumping in and leading a high school girls small group, which felt like a weird thing to add in that season. But even though we weren’t doing the same thing, at the same time, we were still pulling in the same direction in ministry. And it really, it really settled something for us on that point. And so Carrie was in the ministry and was able to see a little bit to Brad’s point, why I might be stressed, even if she didn’t have all the details. And I could also see her owning some of those. And so I felt like I had a partner. So, but again, we haven’t always gotten to do that. But I think we have tried to find at least if you can find one small way, you’re kind of tugging in the same direction in the same ministry. It just gives you a bit more understanding with each other. And then if, if if I do need to say, Hey, I’m tied up, and I gotta go out for a meeting tonight because of this situation. It’s just like she implicitly had some more understanding if that makes sense.
Kari Olson
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, you know, that kind of brought you in to a little bit to say, like, this is a joint value for us to have me involved in the youth ministry at that time, which also meant it was our job to find a babysitter or job to, you know, to make sure the kids are taken care of. And so it was just, it was just a little more togetherness. And that’d been you lead the way in that I was like, Are you Any me I’m leading a small group right now you know that. So
Tom Olson
yeah, and I think I raised that I’m not trying to provide some cure all there. But I think Brad’s point is so, so wise on, it’s hard to strike the right balance. And I think my point in raising that story is sometimes you do have to back off and say, the season in our family right now we, we both got to dial it back, or one of us needs to dial it back. But I think there’s other times where you, you actually got to turn up the volume on your serving, because it creates more mission vision purpose for you have to kind of align around in your marriage and make you feel like, ministry isn’t the pastor’s job but not the wife’s job. And again, not. I’m not creating some expectation here where the you know, the pastor’s wife has to be the church choir director or anything like that, which was some of the stuff I grew up around. Back when I was a boy, but like that, that kind of goofy expectation, I just mean, sometimes we I think we think the answer is always in doing less. But occasionally it can be, Hey, we should be partnering more together as husband and wife and ministry.
Brad Wetherell
And whether it’s more together, like you guys have shared in that story, or I think two questions, maybe you can just simply ask her? Are we both using the gifts that God has given us to serve the church? You know, so? Are you getting to do the things that the Lord has gifted you to do to serve the church? If not, how can we find a way for you to do that? And then, are we supporting each other in it? So maybe that means we’re in the same exact ministry leading together or it’s, Hey, I’m so glad you’re out doing that right now. And I’m gonna watch the kids and support you to go do the work that God’s equipped you to do right now. So are we using our gifts to serve the church? are we supporting each other?
Kari Olson
That’s, that’s such a good point. Because I don’t think it benefits either one of us if we are like, you know, play the victim, you know, oh, you’ve got Okay, you’ve got all of that to do. And, you know, and, and then he’s like, Oh, she’s, she’s too busy at home, she can’t be involved in church, you know, like, either we play the victim or we be the savior and you know, like, kind of protect their each other. But I’m striking that
Tom Olson
that’s something where some of the, the leaders over Brad and I at the orchard have set a good tone to I mean, they’ve actually encouraged us, I remember one specific instance, last year where a bunch of new residents and interns at our church, and my boss was like, You should send Carrie. Oh, yeah. Like, let her invest in people that night. And you stay home with the kids. And so he, he saw me like deploying you as he didn’t see that as a problem, but as a benefit, so. So we’ve had, we’ve had some good leadership to learn from here, too, which we’re grateful for.
Kari Olson
Yeah, that’s true. That’s true. So you know, here on front row seat we had, it was all about the pastor’s wives perspective, you know, talking about our challenges and encouragement and all of that stuff. So I kind of want to hear from you guys. As pastors, then would you tell us a story, tell us tell us about a time that you were challenged, it was it felt like a challenge to faithfully honor the Lord and the work he’s called you to do, but also the home that he has called you to lead? You know, there’s that there’s a tug and pull. And we keep saying balance. But you know, we’ve said this before, that implies we have some sort of control, which we know we don’t but what tell us that tell us a story about about that. Give us some insight
Brad Wetherell
about this morning. What do you do when it’s Tuesday, and it’s the start of your busy week, and the calendar is full and the task list is full. And one of or two of your children wake up sick and your pregnant wife didn’t sleep really well at all last night, and everything at home looks like this is like raise the white flag surrender, I need you to stay and you’re looking at the task list. You’re like, well, I have to go. And I think this morning was another reminder that we have to talk and we have to sometimes compromise even on okay, what do I feel like I need right now? What do you feel like you need right now? How do we serve each other? How do we help? And today that just meant flipping our schedules around a little bit and unexpected ways but trying to just say, hey, what would it take for you to make it through this day and vice versa? So this today, it happened when you wake up and it’s just not the day you planned? So that happens, a bigger moment for us. I was thinking about this. recently was the last time we moved in because that’s not a day that’s like a season of challenge and change, and the move took us further away. The church is further Way from the home all of a sudden, before we moved, we had a newborn in the house. And pretty much everything felt like too much and overwhelming on a day to day. And once again, though, I mean, you can tell me I think it was just communicating like, how can we do this? And how can we do it well together and understanding that ministry, the church needs to be served and our home, our wives, our families need to be served. And it’s not an either or you’ve got to figure out how to make it make it work. And so I don’t know if you remember anything from that season, that was particularly helpful, but
Kristen Wetherell
I don’t remember a lot it was. We made it, we made it foggy? Yeah, no, I just I just remember being so acutely aware of my dependence on the Lord. And of my weakness, which, like we were saying, this morning is true all the time. And yet we walk through days or seasons, where we’re more aware that it’s true, right. And that is our reality. And so I think, even just from a, from a spiritual standpoint, just approaching the Lord that way, and then approaching one another that way and saying, I can’t, I can’t be strong all the time, you know, I really do need your help in such in such a way. And I don’t know if you if you struggle with this, Carrie, but I think sometimes for wives asking for help can be hard. Because we so badly, like want to free you guys up for the work that God has called you to do. We want to be good moms, you know, we want to press on and push forward. So asking for help can be hard, but I actually think it can be a great kindness to our husbands to just be clear and ask for help. And if they can’t help, they can’t help and they’ll, they’ll tell us. But most of the time, it’s yes. You know, it’s just figuring out how,
Brad Wetherell
yeah, and my last little thought on that is I think just communicating to each other, like, Hey, I know why this is hard for you. Like if you’re home today with the kids and the way things are, I know that’s gonna be really hard. And for you to say, Hey, and if you can’t go in today, and your schedule gets all messed up, I know, that’s gonna be really hard. And just acknowledging like, this is difficult for both of us. Let’s figure it out, empathize and understand. And that’s been, that’s been good.
Tom Olson
That’s great. Yeah, I’ve, I’m eager to jump in on this as well. I do remember having at one point, you know, probably five or six years into pastoral ministry, realizing that I had to take a clean break from email on my day off, and along with that, actually delete the email app from my phone on my days off. Because a great piece of counsel, I heard from Pastor Tom Nelson down in Kansas City at a at a men’s event one time was, he said, Everybody’s working for balance. But sometimes it’s better to think of life as engage disengage. And so when I leave church, I’m disengaging in church, and I’m engaging with my family, and they’re getting my focus and attention. And so I do think there’s something to that, where if my family has my focus and attention, and they’re used to when I come home, getting my focus and attention. Then when you do say, I have to step away for a work thing, it’s less jarring, because you’ve been giving them your attention. And they’re used to getting it from you versus if your phone’s always in your email, and you keep working when you’re home. Yeah, they’re like, well, when does it end? It feels like a hopeless situation for your family. So yeah, and you as well. And again, I Please no, I’m not speaking on a pedestal from that. Far from it. I, I feel like I sometimes come home as zombie. And it takes me like 30 minutes. And if anybody talks to me in the first 30 minutes of walking through the door, I can’t like physically process what they’re saying. So I don’t necessarily speak to that from strength. But that’s what I aspire to, I guess I’d say. And just to pitch in on that, too, I just say to any brother pastors who are listening, like, so important to keep taking your wife on dates, because you both are so busy, especially if you’re in a season with young kids. And if you don’t create that intentional space, and it doesn’t have to be expensive, it can just be a cup of coffee, you know, but there’s something about getting out of the house, just the two of you and the work it takes especially if you have kids to get out of the house just the two of you and to say we’re gonna spend this time focused on each other. It it really just raise this conversation you build understanding. And so when you’re putting that much investment in your relational bank when one of you has to say I need you to stay home today, honey or I know, I know, I’m missing this band concert tonight, but I can’t. That’s our recent one. But, you know, but I, I can’t break this commitment I have tonight, you got to have some relational deposits in the bank stored up if you’re gonna make those kinds of withdrawals. Yeah. Which still
Kari Olson
doesn’t make it easy, actually, it still means I’m talking to myself and to be to have a gospel centered, you know, perspective of the situation and Tom, and he’s talking to his himself as well, you know, and so we’re, it doesn’t make it easy. But communication, oh, man, it really really does smooth some of those edges up the rough edges of the pole that challenge because you know, if we feel it as as pastors wives, the the challenge of church life and homelife and what we want from him, you know, and I do have to remember, like you were saying bread, he feels it, he feels it, too. He really does. And so to that acknowledgement has really gotten very far. I think whenever, you know, we’ve done anything like that, like that, acknowledging. Hey, thanks so much. Thank you. Thank you for doing this for me today, or thanks for moving your schedule around them. That meant so much to me. I needed that. And yeah, that’s that’s been hell.
Tom Olson
Yeah. Thank you. And I’m sorry, go a long way. Those aren’t like so true. Those aren’t based. Those aren’t like simple things. Those are like foundational building blocks for a healthy relationship. Yeah,
Kristen Wetherell
yeah. I’m almost 100% sure that you said to that said that to us during premarital counseling.
Tom Olson
It’s it’s consistency in marriage is made to reflect the gospel. So you better be sorry, saris and forgive us if it’s marriage. Yeah, relationship to Christ.
Kristen Wetherell
No, that’s right. Well, and I think another another important deposit we make in our marriages is praying for one another. We’ve talked with several of our guests about the importance of, you know, praying for our husbands, and not only for their hearts for their work, for our own hearts for our own calling and work for the Lord. But how would you guys encourage pastors to be praying for their wives? How do you how do you personally pray for us?
Tom Olson
Well, this goes back to what I said at the beginning. So I won’t belabor it. But primarily, it’s just to pray that she’d love Jesus, because if our boat tanks are both filled up that way, and he’s setting our course in priorities, a lot of the hardships that come with being a pastor’s family will, will have that. That Christ centered perspective. So praying for that. And then, you know, to I think of what is I think it’s Psalm 16. Three, as for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones and whom is all my delight, you know, and I just pray, frankly, for both of us that we would think of our church and be like, they are the excellent ones. Yeah, him is all my delight. So I tend not to make that that prayer too hard. I’m just just praying that we believe the gospel that we love Jesus, that we’d love the people. He’s putting their life right before us. Yeah.
Brad Wetherell
That’s good. That just to piggyback off that one of the verses I prayed for you and for our family, consistently is First Thessalonians three, verse eight, which is exactly what you’re saying, Tom. Paul just says, For now we live? If, if what? So I’m living, if this is happening, what is it, he says, if you are standing fast, and the Lord, so it’s like, Alright, I’m good today. And he just talked to in the previous verse, it’s distress and affliction, and all this stuff’s going on. He’s like, but I’m, I’m living if you’re standing fast, and the Lord and to know that whatever you’re dealing with in a given day, and by that, I mean, you or me. If we’re standing, fasten the Lord, we’re going to be we’re going to be alright, we’re going to be good. And so if it’s a busy day with the kids or a stressful situation, or some sorrow, or whatever it may be, when I see your faith, I’m encouraged and so I’m praying for that and just praying, Lord, strengthen her faith and you help her standfast in you today, and we’ll be good.
Kari Olson
We’ll be good. Love that. That’s, that’s so true. So this is, this is your chance to encourage. What What would you say then to a pastor’s wife, young, young or seasoned? What would you say to encourage the pastor’s wife who is listening? And what would you say to encourage them The pastor who may be listening
Tom Olson
I’ve given my one to the guys take your wife out, ask her out, there you go, all right, or she knows that you are the that she is the apple of your eye, you know that you’re, you’re thinking of her, like, the groom thinks of the bride and Song of Songs, you know, like that I can I just can’t tell you that enough men it, it will have such a ripple effect in your life in so many ways if you just keep prioritizing one on one time with her. You know, when I heard it, you know, once said about sabbaticals, you know, you know, every week, take a day, you know, every year, take a week, every every seven years, take a few weeks or something like that. I don’t know if some pithy thing I heard in seminary, but I think of the same kind of with, with your wife to try, try to get her out, get your attention on her in some way, shape, or form. Once a week, you know, some kind of intentional thing with her. But once a year, I hope you’ve got at least an overnight somewhere where you’re, you’re really just focused on each other for at least like 36 hours. And I hope every couple years, you’re getting four or five days away just the two year you know, so like, that’s, that’s my thing to guys. I’m just a broken record on guys, to get to people who love Jesus, who are getting time together, they’re just going to intuitively have good conversations, if they’re making time for each other. And get in at the heart of the matter. I think for the wives, I would just say you’re making so much more of an impact than you realize. Like, even if you just name your podcast, sit in the front row and genuinely worship Jesus. We’re just in a season right now where it’s interesting. Like that’s what people have picked up on in our congregation. They’re just like, You guys are just worshiping Jesus as a family in the front row. And it’s like, it, just the domino effect of that into every conversation and relationship. So I know for a lot of pastors wives, and again, we’re just coming out of that season where really, you were really zeroed in on the kids and home and but again, people just even love seeing that. And they love seeing that intentionality. So wives, even just your presence of worshipping Jesus and being happy to show up the small group and study the Bible, even if you’re not the leader, but you’re just glad to be there. Like, that’s going to have so much more of an effect because people are just wondering if the pastor’s family really believes it. And so, you just, if you just worship Jesus, and you know, just love the word like, that’s, that’s gonna have such an impact more than you realize. That’s good.
Brad Wetherell
That’s good. That’s good. Yeah, I don’t know. I think for the husbands there’s like a fairly short list of things that we absolutely must do if we’re going to be faithful and loving our wives and is one of them.
Tom Olson
So we it
Brad Wetherell
it sounds so obvious when you say that but do it like like, I love what I love what you just said time and the time and the the time for fun and the time for intentionality as well. One thing maybe is, you know, whatever is you at your best in pastoral care, are you giving that level of like interest and support and care for your wife as well or, you know, don’t give the leftovers and don’t clock out on intentionally asking questions and listening and praying that you do for your people do that for your wife at home as well. So just love your wife, we have to and it’s such a good thing. And it will turn your home into a kind of sanctuary right that you were you come into with great joy and delight to be there because you’ve fostered something in your marriage that’s really really rich and really really good. And I agree with you Tom on the wives, pastors wives, you’re doing much more than you may realize. And I don’t think you know, how far your words go in our hearts and in our in our in our lives. Tom you and I’ve talked about this but you know, it’s it’s really wonderfully encouraging to hear good feedback from a sermon. It’s great to know you’ve helped people at church I’m going to take preaching for example, to come home and to hear from from you about how that helped or how that was encouraging OR and NOT. Nothing for you know, the sake of flattery or making things up but genuinely like this helped me today. That’s the most encouraging word I can get after a sermon and I think for pastors wives just to remember your words of encouragement will go really, really far for us?
Tom Olson
Yeah, I do feel like that. That was one thing that dawned on me, I think after becoming a pastor Carrie just, she now is primarily has to listen to my preaching the rest of her life. So there’s that heart, I feel that Brad I’m like, I hope she likes my preaching. She’s blessed by it and feels encouraged and fed by it, because she’s got, you know, by God’s grace, like 40 more years of it.
Kari Olson
No, but that is that is a precious thing to sit under the teaching of my husband, but to feel the stirring of the Holy Spirit and to feel God’s word come alive in a way that I just, I had never considered before or, you know, explained before really being taught by Him is, it’s just a precious precious thing. So thank you for saying that you guys that we want to be. We want to be encouragers to you, and faithful in our words to you. And it’s not easy sometimes. I mean, it just isn’t. It’s, you know, or you just get hyper focused on on me. And that’s how God wants me to live. And so to give us a partner, like you said, Brad, that wonderful gift of a partner in ministry just just helps us get our focus on him on you.
Kristen Wetherell
Good. Yes, yeah. And it makes me think to you know, the power of words, we’ve talked about the power of prayer words in prayer. I’ll just share it just share a brief story. But you know, I pray often, that, that God’s Word would powerfully go out through Brad, as well as the other campus pastors. And you know, we heard testimonies at baptisms on Sunday evening, this past week, and a gentleman got up and shared, that what really hit him at one moment was a sermon that Pastor Brad was preaching, and I just started bawling. Because me like, Lord, this is an answer to my prayers. Yeah. And we don’t hear these things. I would say often, yeah, but God is bearing fruit. Yeah, these prayers, these words, they matter deeply. So to hear that was was deeply encouraging. And we’re so grateful for both of you are so grateful for God’s ministry through you. We’re privileged to walk alongside of you as our husbands and vice versa. And it has been fun to walk together that is that is for certain. So Well, thank you for joining us on this episode of front row seat and to our sisters who are watching. God sees you he sees your husband as well. And you can trust that he has good things in store for you both. So thanks for joining us today.
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Kristen Wetherell is a pastor’s wife and a mother, writer, and speaker. She is the author of several books including Help for the Hungry Soul and Humble Moms, and coauthor of the award-winning Hope When It Hurts. Kristen also cohosts Front Row Seat—TGC’s video conversations of encouragement for pastor’s wives—and is a member of The Orchard in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Read more of Kristen’s writing on her website.
Kari Olson is the cohost of Front Row Seat, a video series from The Gospel Coalition for pastors’ wives. As a wife of a pastor, Kari has a heart for encouraging other pastors’ wives to live in sincerity and faithfulness to the Lord through all seasons of ministry. Kari’s husband, Tom, is campus pastor at The Orchard Evangelical Free Church. Kari loves serving the women at her church, leading Bible studies, and occasionally speaking at events. Kari and Tom reside in Barrington, Illinois, with their three teenage children.
Brad Wetherell (DMin) serves as the campus pastor of The Orchard in Arlington Heights, Illinois. He serves on the steering committee of The Gospel Coalition’s Chicago Regional Chapter. Brad is married to Kristen, and they have three children.
Tom Olson (MDiv, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School) is the campus pastor at The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in Barrington, Illinois. He and his wife, Kari, have three children—Kettie, Tovie, and Tommy.