Most books on parenting today focus on getting a child to comply to the parent’s standard of behavior or to become well-trained, well-rounded children. Others focus on trying to get the gospel to fit into the family life. Rarely do you see books that encourage family life to fit into the gospel. Gospel-Centred Family: Becoming the Parents God Wants You to Be is one such book. In the latest in the gospel-centred series from The Good Book Company, Ed Moll and Tim Chester encourage families to holistically live out the gospel by putting the gospel, grace, the Word, and mission at the center of their lives.
Summary
Like the other gospel-centered resources by Chester, Gospel-Centred Family is divided into parts: a gospel-centered family, a grace-centered family, a word-centered family, and a mission-centered family. Each short and easy-to-read chapter gives a central principle, opening scenario, Scripture passage with questions, explanation of the concept, discussion questions, and ideas for action. In part one: a gospel-centered family, Moll and Chester say that a family living according to the biblically established authority structure of the home can actually show how great it is to live under God’s reign of love. Parents’ goal in raising their children is to teach them how good and gracious God’s rule is. The home is where children, and parents for that matter, learn to live for the glory of God and the good of others rather than for themselves.
Furthermore, parents have the privilege and responsibility to teach their children that knowing God is far more important than succeeding in life. They do this not only as they instruct, but also by correctly prioritizing values. Moll and Chester argue convincingly that, “we often worry (rightly) about the influence the world has on our children . . . but we are also influencing our children. And our influence can be just as corrosive of gospel-centered priorities.” When we value career, money, education, comfort, entertainment, or success more than we treasure Christ, we are teaching our children to do the same.
In part two: a grace-centered family, Moll and Chester argue that the biggest obstacle to good discipline is our own selfish hearts. The end goal of parents is not simply to get their children to obey them. Instead “obeying parents is the means God uses to teach children to submit to his authority.” When parents make themselves the most important thing, they exasperate their children. Moll and Chester go on to say that trying to be a good parent will crush you if you don’t embrace grace. Parents will mess up. They will sin against their children. But if they don’t embrace the grace given in the gospel for themselves, they will not extend it to their children. This will result in disciplining behavior rather than addressing the child’s heart.
Parenting that is honoring to the Lord and teaches children to know and serve Christ is calm, clear, consistent, and concentrated on the heart. Rather than focusing on rules, which trains children to be legalists, parents should focus on developing their relationship with their kids, reflecting the love and grace of the gospel, delighting in them as God does in his children.
Gospel-Centred Family: Becoming the Parents God Wants You to Be
Ed Moll and Tim Chester
Gospel-Centred Family: Becoming the Parents God Wants You to Be
Ed Moll and Tim Chester
Numerous books set out to help Christian parents in the challenging mission of raising their children well-so what’s different about this one? Well, the answer’s in the title! It’s not about how the gospel fits into Christian family life, but how family life should fit into the gospel-God’s greatest purpose for this universe, achieved in Christ. Many books aim to raise up competent, balanced parents and well-trained, well-rounded children. But Tim Chester and Ed Moll focus on families growing God-knowing, Christ-confessing, grace-receiving, servant-hearted, mission-minded believers-adults and children together.
Part three focuses on the word. Parents should teach their children about God in the context of everyday life, not just through family devotions but by speaking of God in normal, daily conversations, whether in the midst of adversity or in times of prosperity. Parents also must remember that even in a Christian’s home, the gospel is not the only message children hear. Parents need to shape what messages are entering the home and how their children should hear them. And parents teach their children the Word as they teach them to pray the Word.
Part four argues that families also need to be mission-centered. Christian parents must show their children that they are part of a bigger family, the family of God. The church needs to be included into the family, not just somewhere they go during certain parts of the week. Moll and Chester suggest that parents need to involve their children in the one-another ministry of the body of Christ. Children learn that they are not the center of the world as the family is intentional to serve and kids get to minister alongside their parents.
Analysis
With regard to Gospel-Centred Family, I could not extol it more. While there are many other resources that go into greater depth on issues of roles in families, idols of the heart, discipline, and teaching children the Word, I have yet to see a resource that is more concise, yet holistic on the issue of parenting. Each chapter is short but packed with content. The discussion questions are heart-penetrating and the ideas for action are practical, giving you tangible ways to build upon newly acquired insights. The first two chapters alone are so worthwhile that I actually wrote “pure gold” at the top of each page. But probably the most notable thing about Gospel-Centred Family is the way it centers the family in the church and views the family as a ministry unit, rather than related individuals.
Moll and Chester challenge families to put Christ at the center of their family life and help them to develop strategies for doing ministry together. Rarely do you see a resource on families that helps them to find their identity in the church and give them handles for family-based ministry. And it does all this simply, without requiring any prior biblical knowledge from the parents. If you want to give the families of your church comprehensive vision for their homes that is centered on the good news of Jesus Christ rather than their immediate relations, get them to study Gospel-Gentred Family.
