Choosing Contentment

Elizabeth Woodson

Choosing contentment really has some layers to it. God is good, and it all worked out. It’s like some stuff is just really hard and sad. Part of our processing sometimes, is a grieving of what we thought things would be. And so to me, choosing contentment is first choosing to acknowledge what the situation really

Courtney Doctor

is. Melissa, welcome to the deep dish, a podcast where we love having deep conversations about deep truths. I am again joined by my co host, Melissa Kruger, and we are delighted to be joined by our friend and partner in ministry, Elizabeth Woodson, and the whole conversation today, contentment is really something that both of you have thought about. You’ve written about. So Elizabeth . . .

Melissa Kruger

We’ve been meaning to talk to you about.

Elizabeth Woodson

‘Cause we’re not sure if you understand.

Courtney Doctor

I am here to learn disciple me for the next 30 to 40 minutes. Well, Elizabeth is the founder of the Woodson Institute. She is also the author of embrace your life, how to find joy when the life you have is not the life you hoped for, which is exactly on topic, but among other books, one we love to talk about is from beginning to forever, a Bible study on the meta narrative of Scripture, and it’s beautiful. But we really are glad you’re here, and I’m glad that both of you have thought long and hard, and I really am here. Disciple me. Disciple me. Friends. In this I want to grow in contentment. I mean it. Are you is

Melissa Kruger

content about I’m discontent about my contentment. Exactly that way too,

Courtney Doctor

exactly. It’s like, you know, if you ever actually humbled, and you’re proud of your humility? Well, this is kind of that same thing. I’m like discontent in my lack of in my discontentment. I want to be more content, but it’s such a beautiful contentment. I i actually have always thought that contentment is, in some ways, the pinnacle of kind of Christian virtue, because so much is wrapped up in it, right? Trust and faith. Anyway. So let’s just start by defining like, what do we even mean when we say contentment? What does it mean and what doesn’t it mean?

Elizabeth Woodson

I would say, I like to keep things simple, and because our contentment is rooted in God, it’s a belief that what God has given me is enough. It doesn’t mean that, because sometimes contentment can it ranges from, you know, just simple things, versus, man, I’m holding a season that’s just really hard. So it doesn’t mean that everything’s okay, or that the bad things aren’t bad, or the hard things aren’t hard. But if I have God, what he’s given me in this moment is enough, and there’s goodness and there’s joy and blessing that can be found here, but that can be difficult, and now we’re gonna talk about that, yeah, but that’s probably what I would say, that’s good.

Melissa Kruger

That’s good. I always like to say it’s an inward trust, not because of external circumstances. It’s an inward trust that works externally in the ability to bear fruit, love, joy, peace, pace, peace. That’s not one of them, patience, kindness, all of them, whatever, whatever, but it’s that it’s an inward disposition that works outward. Whereas I think we tend to flip it. We tend to think it’s outward when

Courtney Doctor

the circumstances all align, then this thing that is contentment that we and Paul is so clear, right? That the external circumstances, I mean, his list of when he says, I’ve learned to be content in all things. It’s not like he was, you know, I learned to be content, yeah, on on vacation, I learned to be content when I get my new car, when I, you know, it’s not, it’s through really hard, through really hard things. And so what, what role does, you know, like we talk about choosing joy or choosing but I think choosing contentment. So how do you choose contentment? I mean, the subtitle of your book, Elizabeth, is that sort of, that whole thing, like, how to be content when the circumstances are not what you were hoping for. Yeah,

Elizabeth Woodson

I think choosing contentment really is has some layers to it, because first you have to deal with what you don’t have. And I think sometimes we can just, like, stuff it down, or for like, I just have to, like, kind of just gloss it over, or God is good, and it all worked out. It’s like some stuff is just really is just really hard and sad. And so I believe part of our processing, sometimes is a grieving of what we thought things would be. And I think that that’s honest to our humanity, honest to the emotions God had given us. And so to me, choosing contentment is first choosing to acknowledge what the situation really is, okay. So it’s not denial. It’s not denial, got it, but it also is who is God in the midst of my situation? And so to me, there is a there is an aspect of remembrance that comes with contentment, because my ability to move forward in the situation, in kind of this settled place, is based upon who God has been in the past. To me. And like seasons of disappointment, we can be really quick to forget that this one thing does not characterize the entirety of my life. Like this one thing does not prevent God from doing things that are beyond my imagination, but we can just kind of get into that really isolated place in our hearts and minds. And so it’s like, who is God? What has he done? What will he do? And it is this perspective of like for us to be believers, is to acknowledge that things in this world will not always be easy, but we have the Lord. And so I think it is, it is a wrestling, because you have to really deal with, oh, maybe I don’t believe that God is enough, right? And maybe I don’t love him as much as I thought I did. And maybe not only just take joy and intimacy with Him, but I believe it’s like as you walk down the pathway and through that door, you come to a really beautiful place, but it takes, to me, work to get there. You just don’t wake up content.

Melissa Kruger

That’s right. Well, I like that. Paul says when he learned it, yeah, so that’s very hopeful. Yeah, it didn’t descend one day. But I always I like what you were saying, because I always say present contentment is rooted in a past certainty and a future hope, yeah, because the past certainty is say that again. So present contentment is turning my mind and rooting it in a past certainty and a future hope, which that past certainty is Christ rescued and redeemed my soul and that can never be taken no matter what. Yeah, everything else can go away. So even when you always think about Jesus, the disciples come back rejoicing, the 72 go out. They’re doing all these amazing things. The demons are submitting to them. All this stuff’s happening, and he’s like, Don’t rejoice in this. Rejoice that your names are written in the book of life. That’s the one thing that can never be taken from us. And then the future hope is actually a new world’s coming. So like you were saying, we don’t get it all here, and I think that’s just hard to keep remembering, because I want it all here. Oh yeah, you know. And it’s like, it looks like all these other people are getting it all here, right? And it’s just a false, well, we’re

Courtney Doctor

gonna get there, because that’s that, that’s that comparison. But before we go there, I really do want to go back, because, Elizabeth, you’ve said two things. You’ve said, it’s the it’s the realization that God is enough. But you started off by saying it’s the realization that what God has given is enough. And I think that for a lot of us, we can live in that place of being like, well, I know God is enough, right? I know God is enough, but is what he’s given enough? Is it? I think that can be that, you know, that place of real wrestling. And I’d love to really put some feet on this and talk about specific things that both what he’s given and what he’s withheld. And I’ve shared this so many times, but when I read the Bible study on Romans, I it was Romans 832, I’d never thought much about it before. But where you know, Paul says that he who gave us His own Son, how will He not also with Him, graciously give us all things? And it’s that idea of, if we need it, he will give it. And so that, to me, becomes the place of of present contentment rooted in the nature and character of God. But, but I do think it’s that, it’s that wrestling through that I know God is enough. I am. Most of our listeners probably know that God is enough, but it’s then bringing it down to and what he’s given and what he’s withheld are enough. So let’s talk about some places in life that we’ve actually had to, like, press into that. I mean, there are things that I have prayed for for a long time that it does not seem like the Lord is doing. And so how do I find contentment in those places?

Elizabeth Woodson

Man, I think the easiest one for me to tag on to is just my singleness. So I tell people I’m a joyful single I believe God has given me a lot, but I know for a lot of people, that’s a pain point that I prayed. I did all the things the church told me to do. I served in every ministry. You know, I saved myself. You know, I didn’t do all the crazy things that the people are doing, and they got married, yeah, and I didn’t get married. So I think it’s also like, I checked all the boxes, and people who didn’t check the boxes got what I wanted, and I still don’t have it. And so to me, it is like, how do I wrestle with what the Lord has withheld, that his good plan for me does not include this thing. And so I think that there’s some intentionality around, like, how do I view, you know, the goodness that’s present in my single season, the things I’m able to do that I wouldn’t be able to do if I was married and had children. I’m single, Never married, with no children. And so there’s, like this aspect of gratitude, but there also is aspect of wrestling with God’s sovereignty. And so I think about, I think it’s Psalm 16, six, yes, the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, and I have a delightful inheritance, yes. And so it is that that we truly believe the scriptures. Because I think, you we might believe, we think God is enough. Hmm, and have this belief that what he’s given me isn’t enough, but I think you can’t have that separation, yes, like, if you don’t think what he’s giving you is enough, then he himself is not enough. For you. Exactly

Courtney Doctor

that whole that psalm 16, where the boundary lines have fallen for me, what I realized was David was saying in that, when you know, if you’ve ever been to Israel, the land is not the same. Northern Israel is lush. It is green. There are rivers, there are waterfalls, there are and southern Israel is dry and arid, and it is a desert. And David was in southern Israel, but his boundary line, he’s talking about the boundary lines of the land, right? Those are the boundary lines. And yet he’s saying, I am content in that. And so I look at the boundary lines in my life, and I remember thinking, you know, I have boundary lines of my intellect. I hit against it, right? Like, like, Oh, I’m not smart enough to to do that. Or I have boundary lines of finances or energy or health or time, or whatever it is. And so to to press into that, like these, whatever the boundary line is. And I loved how you talked specifically about, you know, you were hoping for a spouse. And I know our listeners there are, I mean, they maybe they’re hoping for a spouse, maybe they’re hoping for a child, maybe they’re hoping for more children. Maybe they’re hoping for more followers, yeah, I mean, but like, you know, maybe they’re hoping for a book contract, maybe they’re hoping for a career. Maybe they’re, who knows, but there are all of us go through that most of our lives, that there is a thing that we want, that God and but the other thing I was struck with is there are ways we can make those happen. So what’s the difference between resting and trusting, holding all the emotions that you all have talked about, and still choosing the contentment.

Elizabeth Woodson

I mean, I think it is like you can, you can go out, and I’ll go back to the singles example, because it just is so clear. I think for people, you can go out and find somebody. You can find somebody, but it is you get into that place. And I think anybody who’s dated and you’ve just been with someone, you know you don’t need to be with them. It’s all the things that are attached to that. And so what we do is we see kind of the good side of having what we want, and we don’t see the shadow side of it. And so now you’re in this place. You’re not supposed to be here. You’re with someone you don’t need to be with. And how does that relationship affect you? Affect your relationship with the Lord? You know, it’s just all of these consequences for stepping outside the boundary line. And it is, it’s like, I don’t want the stuff that comes with sometimes walking in disobedience to what God has for me, and that would stay within the place, but it is, I think you have to wrestle with your sadness. Yes, you have to.

Melissa Kruger

Because I would say, here’s the reality, the discontentment follows you to the next season. Yes, because what I how I was going to answer your question, was actually, I found myself getting what I desperately wanted. I had wanted a husband and the children, and I got good ones, yeah, she did, yeah, and but then I could remember those little years with kids looking at my girlfriends and being like, this was the dream. Yeah, what is this? That’s

Courtney Doctor

what I was going to ask you next. Is like, what about when you get it and then all of a sudden you don’t that is valued anymore, so

Melissa Kruger

discontentment is ultimately a state of our hearts, not our outward circumstances. So I’m gonna, yeah, we’ve all experienced this, right? What did you want at 16? Maybe the car, maybe the license. Guess what? You probably got them. And then you, oh, then if I can just get into a good college, you get into the college, or whatever. You go to college. Oh, if I can just get a good job. Okay, you get the job. Yeah, they’re like, this job is terrible. Why don’t I want to go back to college or whatever? You know, we spend our life. So for me, it was recognizing I have a heart problem, not a circumstance problem, that made me have this battle with contentment, because it was just like, I’m living the life I thought I wanted, and it’s not enough. Yeah, and I think that’s why we see people who maybe get to the pinnacle of success, that they turn to drugs and alcohol and all things, because it’s not enough. They get it and it wasn’t enough.

Elizabeth Woodson

I think what we are looking for is perfection. Like we’re like, oh, this will be perfect. Like, there’ll be nothing wrong in this place, since I’m trying to get here and get here and get here and get here, and you’re like, Oh, it doesn’t do it. Oh, it doesn’t do it. Oh, there’s always something missing. And I think it’s like, once you get your head wrapped around no matter what the season is, there will always be something missing, then it begins this perspective shift of like, oh, well, how can I have eyes to see what’s here and be better appreciative, because it will never be enough. That’s the hustle.

Courtney Doctor

So yeah, what does that teach us about where we are in redemptive history? Right? What? What does that mean? I mean, I think CS Lewis says something about, you know, if our hearts are longing for something else, right, if we’re longing for another world, maybe it’s because that’s what we were created for. So how does that? How do we know that one day, everything. Long for where you were talking about the future hope you’ve written about this. But how do we help our listeners understand this discrepancy between their longings now, lack of joy and satisfaction when they get them and then what we are ultimately where we are setting our future hope.

Elizabeth Woodson

Yeah, I mean, the word I love to use is shalom, because I think it encompasses so much. It’s like it’s beyond just our English understanding of peace, like its wholeness, like everything is right with the world. Everything’s right with me, the people around me. It’s this really beautiful reality. I think we see present in the Genesis one and two narrative, and then through Scripture, we see how sin, like tries to destroy and corrupt and pull away from that. But what we see in Revelation is that he recreates the paradise that he created in the beginning, and so the shalom that we have in part because of Christ, that we get it because we have fellowship with Him, we do not have it in full like our you’re not. You’re meant to be the already, not yet. Yeah, I think is a phrase the real churchy seminarian, but it is. It’s like there’s a Shalom that’s coming, where this hole that I feel will be filled because all that’s wrong with the world will be made right when God comes and He dwells with humanity. And so this longing I have for perfection is really a longing for what is coming. And so it’s like put the longing in the right place. I love

Melissa Kruger

that, and I think that’s important to say, because having desires is not wrong, yes, ha, yeah. Desires can sour, yeah, and those are wrong, but having desires is a normal part of living in a broken world. Like we are in the right, we’re in the in that place where it hasn’t yet been changed. So the fact that we have desires, you know, even for our own life, I should be there are right, even discontents, like a lack of holiness is a place to be discontent, right? Like I shouldn’t be okay. You know, it’s not. It’s not saying, Oh, just be totally okay with who you are. No, I’ve got stuff that I really should desire,

Courtney Doctor

yeah, and they need to be rightly oriented, okay, well, speaking of desire, so what does Psalm 37 have to say about that? How does this play into it? So trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness, delight yourself in the Lord. And if you do this, you delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your hearts. I mean, what is God promising there? What’s happening in that? Because, have you delighted yourself in the Lord? Yeah. Has he given you every desire of your heart? No. So what is that? What is that verse promising, telling?

Melissa Kruger

I mean, is your beach vacation or is your beach house waiting for you, right? Yeah. I mean, that’s what I think. That’s how it can be really misapplied. Whereas I do think there’s something about when we’re delighting in the Lord, there is this something changes in us, and our desires do change. And I don’t even mean that in that that sounds like, Oh, you’re just gonna lower your desires. I actually think they get bigger. Yeah, there’s a bigger desire I’m longing for. So I never want to say in this contentment game, we’re squelching desire, right? I’m just saying, we’re learning to put it on the right and better things. I think we’re like kids, you know, if you put before kids, if you went, you remember those bubble machines with a big plastic, you know, Ring Pops, you know that they can get out of the little machines. I’m not explaining this well,

Speaker 1

we understand. We’re with you. I’m not picturing it, but I’m with you. Ring Pops. You know, you

Melissa Kruger

used to put a quarter in and get them out of the gumball machine thing. I didn’t know that. Fake ones, whatever. Yeah, and you put a real diamond. What’s it? What’s a five year old gonna pick the ring? Pop the ring. Pop that Diamond’s not worth anything, right? Because they don’t even know what they don’t know, right? And I think as we start delighting in the Lord, we start desiring the real gem, yeah, yeah, not the fake stuff, yeah.

Elizabeth Woodson

I think this is probably one of the reasons I love biblical theology so much, is because it gives you a comprehensive understanding of what God is doing throughout the text. And so it’s like, how is God transforming his people, of how sin has deformed us and we’re being reformed. And so like, when you say, my desires are being formed, ultimately to reflect the desires. Oh, Lord, that’s the better place for me to rest in. And so it is, it’s like that. And it is that, oh, we would delighting in God. Means what? To me, that’s the connection point, that whatever you would want for me in this world is what I want, and so you are going to give that to me, because I’m aligning myself to you. And again, that’s a process, because I think there’s just a reality of humanity to the lack and the comparison and we see other like all those things. But it is that the better thing is to be like Christ, yeah, that’s the goal. That’s the better thing, that’s the place, and that is what God is doing. And so I think, I mean, I’ve just heard some really wonky, my favorite word, I love that wonky

Unknown Speaker

interpretation, wonky theology, the wonky

Elizabeth Woodson

theology. And it just is, man, we make God transactional, yeah, that, if I just do this, you’ll give me what I want, and God is not transactional. Like the guarantee we have is that we have him. And I think what I will say contentment requires maturity in your faith.

Melissa Kruger

Yeah, he loves us too much to be transactional, right? I mean, because he actually knows what the better portion is, right? And I always like to say too, it’s going to be different for you and for me and for you, because I think we think I’ll have her portion, yeah, exactly, exactly what? But you know what? You’re a completely different set of clay than I am, yeah. And so the way he’s molding and shaping you, and it’s totally different. Like, what my clay needs is what he’s giving, right?

Courtney Doctor

Well, right in Psalm 16, right before he says the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, he says, The Lord is my portion. Yeah. So the idea that our portion, right, and a portion is, like, it’s not all of it. It’s just part of what’s given. It’s not the whole thing. You know, if I’m serving mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving, I have a whole bowl of them, but I gave you a portion, right? No, that’s not my portion. My portion is part of that, right? But what David’s saying is, like, The Lord is my portion, and that’s enough, and then the lines have fallen for me, like I can be content in that and the desires, I think what you were saying, Elizabeth is so helpful, because it’s, it’s that. And you were saying, like, we don’t desire enough. They’re not big enough. And I think that’s so true, because what is easier for the Lord like to give us the thing we think we want, or to conform us to the image of Christ? I mean, he could do any of the things I you know, I used to say when I was young, all I want is a washer and dryer in my house in a garage, you know? Well, when did I start wanting so much more? You know? Because he’s like, those, those things are easy for me, but conforming you to the image of my son, that’s gonna take some time, like, and it’s, it is sometimes in the things that he doesn’t give but both of you just mentioned comparison. And so there’s a saying that comparison is the thief of joy, certainly the thief of the enemy of contentment. And so in what ways do? Does comparison really threaten contentment, peace, joy, shalom? I mean, it threatens all of it. In what ways and how do we do it?

Elizabeth Woodson

Yeah, I mean, we we live in a moment where you can see what other people have regularly. Yeah, what is hard about our moment is that what people you think they have, yes, is not always real.

Speaker 2

You see the corner of their kitchen. Go to the kitchen. You don’t see all the trash behind the

Courtney Doctor

camera on Instagram. And how much time does it take to even set up the shot, right? And I’m not trying to curate a false image. It just takes a, you know, it’s, there’s some thought. I mean, it’s not real life. It’s not like you actually just walked into my house Exactly,

Elizabeth Woodson

yeah? And so we project this, oh, your life will be happy and Perfect, yeah? My cure well curated family. And we don’t know that y’all were just arguing you’re not the husband and wife aren’t sleeping in the same house like you don’t. We don’t know any of the details.

Courtney Doctor

You know that I have on pajama pants under my cute sweater because you’re

Elizabeth Woodson

only exactly you don’t know. And so I think the element of comparison is heightened because we now get standards for reality that aren’t reality. But to me, it’s like we get our eyes are so taken in by what everybody else has, we become blind to what we have. And again, I think it is the standard becomes, let me achieve this thing instead of, let me achieve maturity in Christ, or not even achieve like, let me allow God to transform me, because that’s the better thing. Our eyes are turned away to lesser things, and as we consume lesser things more, we start to believe those lesser things are the better thing.

Melissa Kruger

Yeah, one day we had all the kids at the park. I was with some mom friends. We’re all the park and the moms are sitting around the park benches trying to have a conversation the kids. It’s a fenced in park. That’s why we liked it. There’s a big field outside the fence, but it was right by a big road. So the little kids are fine playing. The bigger kids, you know, maybe eight nine come and say, Hey, can we play outside of the fence? Well, the moms don’t look each other. We know if we left the eight and nine year olds, the two and three year olds gonna lose their minds. So we were like, and we truthfully want to have a conversation. So we were like, No, you have to stay inside the fence. And the inside the sense, let me just say, There are slides, there are monkey bars, there’s a sandbox, there’s all this stuff. Well, I looked up about five minutes later, five of those older kids are standing by the fence, staring at the field. Mm. Because you just told them, no, yeah. And so they were looking at what they couldn’t have, rather than just enjoy what they’ve been given. And so there is always this, like, I think comparison blinds us to what we have, because we’re so busy at looking at what we don’t have. And and here, here’s what I mean the cure is obviously, to root ourselves in Christ and really but I think another cure is actually to live in real community with real people. We’ve all done women’s ministry in the local church. That changed my vision dramatically. I can remember walking into church, and this is when social media became a bomb for me. I’m like, Well, I’m glad her life looks okay, because everyone else in this congregation is falling apart, and I’m exhausted. I’m crying for her over that circuit, right? I’d walk into church and I feel this huge burden because I knew people’s real stories, yeah, and I didn’t want her life, or her life, or her, you know, and then everybody else’s I was like, Well, who knows what’s going on there. It gave me eyes to see when I lived in real community, and being friends on an app is not real community, no,

Courtney Doctor

well, and you don’t see it all just back to that original point. You just don’t know what’s actually going on. And so we are comparing ourselves. We’re comparing our whole lives to a very truncated version of someone else’s, and it’s never, never going to match up. Or, I know, at one point, my daughter, when she was younger, said she was kind of bemoaning the fact that. She said, You know, I’m not. I don’t have this gift that the oldest has. I don’t have this gift that the second has, and I don’t have this gift that the youngest has. And I said, well, first of all, you are highlighting their strongest gifts. And so right? And nobody’s going to have all the gifts. And so even that idea that wrestling with our places of discontentment pushes us into our need for each other and our places in the local body. And so, you know, we’ve talked about this before. I think all of us have where our friends who don’t have children help, the body of Christ becomes, you know, they’re given children, right? And we, those that don’t have a mother are given mothers. Those who don’t have siblings are given siblings, but it’s in the context of the local church. And so sometimes we want something, we desire something, and we don’t realize that actually the Lord has already provided some of those things in the context of community. It’s just receiving that his answer looks a little bit different than the way we wanted him to answer. And

Melissa Kruger

I like what you just said about your child looking at the other ones. It really is that picture of the body where the hand says to the foot, maybe I’m not needed. Because we can actually become so discontent we tend to think about what we might gain in the world. I think a lot of people just think it’s money, possessions, maybe situational things, but it can even be in the church, giftedness and things like, why can’t I sing like her? Because I, sure enough, cannot sing like her, you know? Well, I mean pricing,

Courtney Doctor

you can probably sing like me. And nobody wants to sing like me,

Melissa Kruger

exactly like I can look at other people’s callings or giftedness or even their capacity, yes, and I can be like, how are they doing? All that we literally

Courtney Doctor

can envy anything, yeah. I mean, we really can. We can have lack of contentment in I mean, it just, yeah, yes,

Elizabeth Woodson

yeah. And I do. I just think we you never see the full story, yeah. So, like, even if you see someone producing so much, what’s that costing their family? What’s that costing their mental health. You know that you see someone who has this amazing gift that feels like all of what it takes for them to get up on that stage and do what they do, like, I just think about people celebrity culture that we have, and we’re like, oh, that’s the goal. And you learn about people’s lives who have the highest level of celebrity, and they’re miserable, miserable, and so just it’s like there’s always this cost and benefit, and we never look at the cost. We always look at the benefits, right? And it’s like they always go together. And this perspective about God being enough, it’s like he’s gonna give me what I can handle, he’s gonna give me what I can thrive in, and let me trust him to be the one that dishes it out, and not me to go get something that then I get there, because sometimes we get there right, and we’re like, Oh, this isn’t, this isn’t what I thought. Like, oh, oh, and I miss out on the benefits I had in the previous season. Yeah,

Melissa Kruger

yeah, yeah. One, one quote that I can’t remember who I think it was, Thomas Watson, so old, old guy been gone a long time, but he said, discontentment is the echo of unbelief, that picture standing on a mountain, yeah, like the echo back. It’s just the echo of unbelief in my life. It’s not about my circumstances, and I think for me, owning that has been the first step in finding it. Like just owning, okay, I have a heart circumstantial problem that needs changing, not an outward because I think, and I still am tempted to do this, a lot of my life was, if I can just get the outward sorted, I’m gonna fight there, whereas now I actually know the battle is between my unbelieving heart. Well, I believe that he has ordained all my days, yeah, and that he means good for me. Yeah, it’s

Courtney Doctor

always an issue of belief. We either don’t believe that God is good or we don’t believe that He is able, like those are right. We he either can’t do it or he won’t do it. He is not for me, and so I need to go do this for myself, or I need to, you know, manifest this. I’ve gotta, gotta make it happen, right? I mean, that’s that it’s, it’s a lack of true belief in God. But I was okay, back to the comparison thing, and then we’re gonna move on off of that. But I was just reminded of even Jesus talking to Peter at the end of John’s gospel when you know, Peter is like, turns around, sees John. He’s like, What about him? Well, what about him, right? Why? What are you going to do with him? Are you going to do anything really great and fun with him? Like, why are you? Are you going to bless him like, you know, wait a minute, you know. And and Jesus is like, you know, if I want him to and then fill in the blank, if I want him to write a ton of books, if I want him to have this incredible family, if I if I want him to suffer like what, whatever it is he’s like, What is that to you? As for you, Peter, follow me like, that is the call. And so you were even saying, like, our stories are all different. He writes them perfectly according to what we need. Our suffering is different. Our sin, struggles are different. Our joys are different. Our gifts are like all of it. And so contentment is ultimately rooted in the belief that God is good, wise, able, sovereign. He’s working these, and that His word is true, yeah, that he is actually working all these things together.

Melissa Kruger

Those passages are always the things that make me believe the word is true,

Courtney Doctor

right? They’re so real. They’re so

Elizabeth Woodson

what does that, right?

Courtney Doctor

And John’s so funny. He’s like, I got there first. And then he’s like, and then Peter said, this really stupid thing, I’m gonna, like, he is John is funny with Peter. He’s like, I’m just gonna kind of suddenly throw you under the bus, just a little bit. Just a little bit. I am the one that Jesus loved, and by the way, I got to the fastest, youngest, cutest, and then Peter’s kind of, you know, no, it’s fantastic though. I mean, it’s that, but we see comparison. We see how Jesus deals with it, like, why are you worried about that person? This is between the two of us, and I am doing a good a good work. So what are some ways, if, I mean, we’ve, we’ve just sort of keep saying in different ways, that contentment is this beautiful mark of spiritual maturity. It’s, it’s rooted in deep faith and trust in God and what he’s done and what he’s going to do and what he’s doing. So how do we grow in that? How do we grow in this, I think, really key aspect of our spiritual

Elizabeth Woodson

maturity, I would say. And as everybody’s like, the phrase I use is, it’s the gap between the life you have in the life you want. Everybody’s gap isn’t something sad and heavy, but some people there really is, yeah, and so I think you have to to me the the model we see in Scripture is you need to be a person who limits like you need to grieve. You need to cross the Lord. How long? Oh lord. Psalm, I love Jesus, but I can’t remember. Can’t remember that, but

Unknown Speaker

it’s in the song. It’s in the song.

Elizabeth Woodson

Maybe Psalm 13, I don’t know, but I love Jesus, and really, you see this example, 40% of the psalms are psalms of lament. Yes, that is a model for us. Life does not go the way we want it to, and we’re crying out to God, and not because I’m just venting, because I actually believe you can do something. And so I believe it’s this if the Holy Spirit meets us there and he does something, but you cannot believe that God is enough and that what he’s gonna give me is where I need to be if you don’t deal with what you really feel. And I think that that place opens you up for this journey of healing and entering into, Okay, God, I’m trusting you, and I’m gonna walk in this place of contentment. But for me, the first step is, how do I call a thing a thing? Yeah? And do it before the Lord, yeah, and watch him change my heart.

Courtney Doctor

So let me ask you, do you think those are sequential things, or do you think they happen? They coexist, like, do we have to, you know, can we lament and be content at the same time? Can we be angry and content at the same time, or do we have to? Are we working towards contentment as we work through these emotions? And maybe it’s both, and I

Elizabeth Woodson

would say it’s both. And I mean, I think it really just depends on you and your situation. For some people, you can like you are crying and walking at the same time. For other people, it is a. All, yeah. And you have to, like, you can’t get past it. You really have to wrestle with the word Yeah. But I do. I think it is a dynamic process where the Lord does multiple things, and sometimes you come back to things, yeah, like, it’s not like, it’s a straight line. It is this journey that the Holy Spirit takes us on. I think it’s that I’m willing to acknowledge the need and do what the Lord tells me to do in order to kind of grow up in my faith, yeah? And I think

Melissa Kruger

it’s a daily battle. I don’t think you get, I mean, Paul does say I’ve learned the secret of being content. I can plenty and, you know, I kind of plenty and then want, but I take a lot of comfort, yeah, comfort or encouragement, encouragement from the learning process. Because here’s the thing, I mean, it’s hard as adults, because I think we really get out of the habit of learning, so we’re really uncomfortable learning. Yeah, you know, I mean, and I’m talking about, you know, kids are used to learning things every day. They’re like, Yeah, I can’t do that yet. Yeah, I can’t do that yet. I learned to tie my shoes. I wanted to brush my teeth. We get real out of the habit. And I when I’ve woken up and said, Okay, today’s circumstances will be my school room for contentment, whatever comes this is my school room to say, Lord, help me be content and it that doesn’t mean I won’t cry, right? Doesn’t mean I might not get upset about things, but will I believe that inner belief that it’s ordained by God so I can trust him with it, like this is what he gave me to hold for today. Will I trust him with it? And that’s a learning process. So guess what? Some days I fall off, yeah? Like I fall off the bike. I’m actually not very good at it. Yeah, tomorrow is another day. Yeah, maybe tomorrow I’ll trust him more. Maybe the next day after that, I’m going to be a mess and thinking my life is worse than everybody who ever lived on the planet Earth. Yeah, and he’ll reign me in. Yeah, it’s this constant conversation. I think that’s what you see in the Psalms. Is this conversation between God’s people wrestling with God over these things. Because, you know, why so downcast all muscle? Why so down I will put my hope on God. Yeah, I gotta work at it, yeah. And that’s holy wrestling. It is. I mean, it’s one thing to complain about God. It’s a different thing to complain to God, right? Yeah, you know. And those are totally different, yeah, totally different places to be.

Courtney Doctor

Yeah. I love this conversation, because I think we can think that contentment is optional, and we can maybe even prioritize some of our other feelings over this pursuit of contentment that that, you know, I mean because lament is good. It is good to express our anger before the Lord. Is good to express our grief and our sadness. But what we’re saying is contentment is an essential part of maturity in Christ, and so it’s worth wrestling out, it’s worth pursuing. It’s worth seeking and praying for.

Melissa Kruger

Here’s one other thing, I think we often think about contentment is just for us, so we’re in our personal like happiness. But one thing that’s really convicted me is that my contentment is a witness to the watching world, like when they say, always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that is in you. We, as Christians, should be the most hopeful people in the world, because we aren’t. Yeah, there can be wars and rumors of wars, geopolitical things going on all over the world. Our own lives can be falling apart. But I remember Johnny Erickson taught I’ve heard her speak on this so much. She says, um, she calls Christians who suffer and suffer before the Lord differently, yeah, yeah. And she has, she has been a witness to this. She calls them spectacles of glory, and they make the watching world pause and say, what is the hope that is in you? So yes, I want contentment for me. I do, yeah, but I realize, oh, it actually glorifies God and speaks to the watching world about what he is doing in our lives. So that’s really hopeful to me. It

Courtney Doctor

is wonderful. Yeah, we had a woman in our church in her 80s, and you would always say, you know, how are you doing today? And she’d say, content. That was her answer. It was always her answer, and it was discipleship, just that single answer of, do I want to grow into that woman? We want to say, I’m content. Yeah, content with what the Lord has given and what the Lord has withheld. I’m content. So we want to end with just a question of kind of getting to know you a little bit better. So we have said that contentment is not dependent on our circumstances, and yet, there are places that we can go that that maybe geographical locations or spaces where it’s just a little bit easier. I’ve shared that there is a lake in in Missouri that I just find very peaceful and contentment comes a little bit easier there for me. But Elizabeth, what about you? Is there a place that you find Shalom? You find joy? You. Find contentment.

Elizabeth Woodson

I would say it is my parents Facebook. It’s like TV’s there. It’s where our family room and dining room is. It’s my parents are there. They got their two recliners. They’re retired, living their best lives. And it just is like everything is right with the world, like I stand in a lot of places and speaking for a lot of people, but there, I’m Miss Elizabeth there. Whatever I need. Yeah, loved unconditionally, good seasons, hard seasons. And so it’s like I will find myself saying you need to go home because you were in a place where you just need to rest in unconditional love and peace. And so that’s my place of contentment.

Courtney Doctor

Oh, that is so beautiful, and a little foretaste of glory, isn’t it? Yeah, all those things home. Yeah, we are. We are on our way home, aren’t we? Well, thank you for joining us for this conversation. If this episode was encouraging or helpful to you, we would ask that you consider sharing it with a friend that you would like it and leave comments. Let us know how you are pursuing contentment in all things. Join us for the next episode of the deep dish you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai