“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor. 12:9-10
Dear Lord Jesus, I love this scripture, I hate this scripture. I run to these verses, I run from these verses. I need this truth, I don’t like this truth. I share this passage with others all the time; I shelve this passage many times when I don’t feel like delighting in my weaknesses and difficulties—times like right now. I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to be out of control. I don’t want to acknowledge my helplessness.
Though I’m very glad for the promise of sufficient grace, I wish I didn’t have the circumstances requiring its use. It’s a good thing you don’t love us based on our faith, but based on your faithfulness, because I’m not exactly feeling “more-than-conqueror-ish” right now, Jesus. It’s a good thing life’s not about making you proud, or making you anything.
The bottom line, Lord? There are people I love very much I wish I could fix and control. There are storylines emerging for which I wish I could be a sovereign editor. There are re-do’s I wish I could do, and done’s I wish I could undo. There are “if only’s” dancing all around me, and “should’s” that don’t seem to have any chance of becoming “did’s.” God have mercy, Lord have mercy on me.
Jesus, if nothing changes in this situation, you are still good. If no miracle emerges, you are no less the Lord. If the situation gets even more broken, your name is still Redeemer. If I get even more frustrated, you’ll forbear with me all the more. I probably will get angrier and sadder, but you’ll love me none the less. Such is the wonder of the gospel. Such is the glory of who you are.
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will (seek to) rejoice in the LORD, I will (seek to) be joyful in God my Savior” (Hab. 3:17-18). Jesus, I pray with humility and earnest longings, in your loving and faithful name.
