3 Key Practices for Pastoral Mentorship

Have you ever wondered what it would have been like to serve alongside a theological giant? Can you imagine being an associate pastor on Augustine’s, Luther’s, or Spurgeon’s team? Though I may never know what it is like to serve with one of church history’s great men, I do know what it means to serve beside a man of great faith—a man who has honored, coached, and loved his associates well.

About seven years ago, the Lord brought me to Northern Virginia to serve as an associate pastor alongside Bill Kynes. Bill is not a world-famous author or speaker, but to those who know him best, Bill’s name certainly brings smiles. With humility and gentleness, Bill has modeled healthy pastoral mentorship. There are three practices I’ve experienced with him during our short time serving together that I want to imitate for the rest of my ministry life.

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1. Showing Honor

Though I served as the younger and less experienced pastor, Bill honored me and treated me with dignity. He exemplified Romans 12:10, demonstrating what it means to be devoted to one another in love and to honor others above yourself. I knew he genuinely cared about my personal life, and whenever I had concerns, he listened and even asked for my recommendations.

Philippians gives us a brief glimpse of a similar relationship when it describes Epaphroditus as Paul’s “brother and fellow worker and fellow soldier” (Phil. 2:25).

As brothers in Christ, a pastoral team shares the burdens of ministry as coworkers.

Brothers love one another. Workers stand united. Soldiers fight together as “battle buddies.” As brothers in Christ, a pastoral team shares the burdens of ministry as coworkers. A pastoral team fights battles together as soldiers of Christ. When such a partnership is honored, it motivates a team to persevere in service with greater diligence and conviction.

2. Intentional Coaching

Every great student has a teacher or coach. Aristotle had Plato. Luke Skywalker had Obi-Wan Kenobi. Daniel LaRusso had Mr. Miyagi. These coaches pushed their students so they’d excel and not settle for mediocrity. When I played linebacker in high school football, the coach led us in tackling drills daily. The repetition made us better players. This is what good coaches do. They teach proper techniques and drill us through repetition so we can excel beyond what we thought possible.

Pastoral ministry is no different. When Paul appointed Timothy, he told him to entrust the gospel to faithful men who would also be able to teach others (2 Tim. 2:2). Every pastor can benefit from a mentor who will intentionally coach him. Bill was great about this. He devoted every Tuesday afternoon to coaching me in pastoral ministry. We discussed a myriad of pastoral competencies including the public reading of Scripture, leading worship, visitation, counseling, and conducting weddings and funerals.

Bill also regularly reviewed my preaching. If my sermon didn’t flow logically or an illustration failed to highlight my point directly, he gently corrected and instructed me in a better approach. Our Tuesday sessions worked like tackling drills to make me a better preacher.

3. Loving Care

When I was 8 years old, I lost my father to a tragic accident in South Korea. Though I no longer have a biological father, God has provided father figures throughout my life. They have come in the form of uncles, my stepfather, coaches, pastors, and Bill. Fathers play a critical role in the life of their children, and in many ways, pastors and elders serve as spiritual fathers of a local church, responsible to manage God’s household (1 Tim. 3:4–5).

Fathers play a critical role in the life of their children, and in many ways, pastors and elders serve as spiritual fathers of a local church, responsible to manage God’s household (1 Tim. 3:4–5).

In mentoring relationships with associates, a senior pastor’s voice of affirmation can instill confidence and put them on the right ministry path. This was evident in Paul’s fatherly relationship with Timothy. In Philippians 2:22 (NIV), he writes, “Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.” Similarly, God has used Bill’s regular encouragements as a father’s voice to affirm my call to preach the gospel.

This May, Bill Kynes steps down after 35 years of ministry. There are many men like Bill who have served Christ faithfully their whole lives but who will only be honored and missed by those who knew them best. They’ll exit ministry without pomp and circumstance, and they won’t be remembered in history books. But I believe the echoes of their ministry will be heard for ages to come.

For my part, I’ll cherish the lessons I’ve learned from Bill, and in my next ministry chapter, I’ll seek to follow his example by honoring co-laborers, coaching associates, and showing fatherly love to those the Lord entrusts into my care.