Melissa Kruger on Responding to Children’s Misbehavior

In this video, Melissa Kruger outlines the “three C’s” of parenting children during times when they misbehave.


Below is a lightly edited transcript of the video above. Before quoting, please check the video to ensure accuracy.

Children’s misbehavior is going to happen in every single family. It’s a sure thing. And so, there are three ways we should respond when we correct them.

(1) Be Considerate

First, be really considerate in your correction. We should be considerate in our correction in two ways. The first way is considerate of who we are. One thing that really struck me when I was a mom was suddenly I realized that I was a fellow sinner correcting another sinner. If that’s the case, I want to correct my child with grace and compassion. I want to remember the mercy that I’ve received as I’m disciplining my child when they need correction. And so, one of the most important things for me as a mom is to look at my child and not be so frustrated and say, “How could you have not gotten this yet?” This doesn’t work because I know that I’ve been walking with the Lord for years and there are things I still struggle with.

We need to make sure our correction is age-appropriate.

We also need to be considerate of who they are. We need to make sure our correction is age-appropriate. There are things that are difficult for our children. And sometimes we are asking things of them that they might not be even able to do yet. So be considerate as you look at what age they are as you correct them.

(2) Be Calm

The second thing I would say is we need to be calm as we correct them. Proverbs tells us that, “Reckless words pierce like a sword” (Prov. 12:18). And as mothers, when we correct our children, we want to make sure that we are calm in our demeanor with them, patient, and kind with them, even as we correct them.

“Reckless words pierce like a sword” (Prov. 12:18).

(3) Be Consistent

And then the last thing I’ll just say is that we need to be consistent. If one day we discipline a child for a certain behavior and then the next day we don’t discipline them for it, our children are going to be. So, we need to be consistent in both our correction of them and our training of them. So daily, we must talk about and remind them of our expectations of them. I need daily reminders of God’s expectations of me, that’s why I read the Word every day. Similarly, our children need constant reminders of our expectations of them. And that’s going to help with the calm as we correct them.

These are the ways, three C’s, for confronting misbehaving children: consider who you are and who they are, be calm, and be consistent.