Who am I? What does it mean to be human? These are core questions, explored by the human race in a variety of forms, from religion to music to art to literature. Our answers to these questions will shape our identity, or as Andrew Bunt defines, “our controlling self-understanding,” which, in turn, will shape our concepts of worth, value, emotional/mental health, actions and relationships (p. 3). In our current cultural moment, sexuality and gender have become particularly contested areas of definition. As its subtitle makes clear, Bunt’s Finding Your Best Identity: A Short Christian Introduction to Identity, Sexuality and Gender seeks to provide a Christian response to this situation.

Finding Your Best Identity is a book that is particularly personal and tender, helped by the fact that Bunt writes as both a pastor and a fellow disciple. (Until recently he was on staff at King’s Church and he is now the Emerging Generations Director of the UK organization Living Out.) In addition to this, he experienced gender incongruence in his youth and continues to experience attraction to the same sex. As a result, Bunt’s tone, argument and theology are wrapped in careful pastoral kindness and heartfelt conviction. Most importantly, his work reflects the Jesus he seeks to follow, who “never allowed people to think that sin was acceptable, but he also never allowed people to believe that God didn’t or couldn’t love them” (p. 17).

Unlike many attempts to engage gender and sexual identity questions, Bunt’s book guides readers to unpack the epistemology behind the question “Who am I?” by exploring the question “How do I find who I am?” (p. 4). In contested topics, starting with the presuppositions and prior experiences of how we seek knowledge and come to an understanding is essential, otherwise, writes Bunt, “we’ll be talking past each other because we’ll be talking about different topics without even realizing it and we’ll be unaware of the pain that some people are experiencing, some of which may have been caused by Christians” (p. 5). In this sense, Bunt’s book is a piece of apologetics that seeks to redeem the nature of identity and help Christians to better follow Christ.

The apologetics lie in chapters 1–3. Here the nature of identity is explored and the question of authoritative sources is raised (ch. 1). This is followed by a critique of identity defined by others (ch. 2) and identity defined by ourselves (ch. 3). Bunt next expounds what it means for our identity to be defined by God and rooted in the work of Christ (ch. 4). Grounding our transformation in the doctrines of grace and our union with Christ (p. 42), he then shows what having a God-defined identity means for our experience of sexuality and gender (ch. 5) and Christian living (ch. 6). As Bunt expresses: “I am not my sexuality or any other feeling or desire I might find within. I am a new creation in Christ, one saved by the grace of God. I am fully known and fully loved. I am a child of God” (p. 48).

Bunt does not shy away from pointing out areas where Christians may need to repent and be challenged. These include mistaking cultural gender stereotypes for biblical gender norms and then discipling Christians to conform to them (pp. 62–64); dishonoring and disrespecting LGBTQ+ people, despite their being made equally in the image of God (p. 51); and the lack of love that some Christians, past and present, have shown towards people who claim a trans* identity or are navigating gender conflicts (p. 59). At the same time, he rejects the idea that our “internal experiences are who we are, and that they therefore need to be embraced and expressed in order to allow us to live our best life” (p. 5). The gospel has better news for us that this, as it offers us in Christ a “new, secure, life-giving identity” (p. 40).

Throughout the book, Bunt gives us insights into the difficulties experienced by those who experience attraction to the same sex and gender incongruence. Regarding his own experience, he writes, “I still sometimes hear things that imply I am not only different but somehow weird or lesser because I’m attracted to guys. But choosing to root my identity in what God says about me … helps me to not let those words shape my view of myself” (pp. 51–52). The genuine challenges faced by those who identify as LGBTQ+—e.g., shame, peer-pressure, emotional suppression, mental health issues, etc.—are also helpfully addressed, as Bunt seeks to persuade readers that “Christian identity allows us to engage healthily with feelings and desires … and to respond to them and steward them in the ways that God has revealed will be the most life-giving for us” (p. 47, italics original).

Finally, as mentioned already, a major strength of the book is its personable style. It often reads as if the author is speaking directly to the reader. Perhaps because of Bunt’s emphasis on individual identity, however, I sometimes found myself yearning for more engagement with communal aspects of identity creation and formation, and how the body of Christ can corporately be a place of Christian identity discipleship. Nonetheless, the book winsomely speaks to both believers and unbelievers alike, exhorting everyone not to be defined by their sexual desires, but to understand these desires “through the teaching of Scripture and then to choose to steward them in line with what God has revealed in his word” (p. 58). In pursuing such a path, writes Bunt, “I am not denying who I am; I am living out my best identity as a human, and therefore sexual, being, but most importantly as a child of God” (p. 58).

As someone who has ministered extensively in this space, I see this book as making a crucial contribution to the discipleship of the emerging generations.

---