Trained in the Fear of God: Family Ministry in Theological, Historical, and Practical Perspective

Written by Randy Stinson and Timothy Paul Jones, eds Reviewed By Michael W. Honeycutt

Nothing is more important for Christian parents than the spiritual well-being of our children. When they thrive, we rejoice; when they don't, we weep. And nothing is more spiritually potent in the lives of our children than churches and parents intentionally working in tandem to mature these young saints.

The question becomes, then: What might that partnership between the local congregation and parents look like? Answering that question in today's world, however, is no easy matter. Practices and perspectives have changed over time and vary from congregation to congregation. Trained in the Fear of God speaks into the confusing array of possible answers, charting a way forward by looking backward at our history and also at God's Word.

Let me begin by summarizing the book. Simply stated, the editors advocate “family ministry,” which they define as ” the process of intentionally and persistently coordinating a congregation's proclamation and practices so that parents are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as primary disciple-makers in their children's lives ” (p. 15).Their particular version of family ministry-the “family equipping” model-differs from the “family integrated” model in that the family equipping model may retain age-organized classes and events (youth group, children's church, Sunday school), unlike the family integrated model. On the other hand, the family equipping model differs from the “family based” model, even though both rely on age-organized classes, in that “every practice at every level of ministry [in the family equipping model] is reworked to champion the place of parents as primary disciple-makers in their children's lives” (p. 27).

Trained in the Fear of God is divided into three sections. The first section provides biblical foundations for family ministry and addresses three theological topics: the Trinity, gender, and homosexuality. The second section works its way through Christian history beginning with late ancient church practice and concluding with postmodern church practice. The final section explores practical topics (such as the pastor's home, a gospel-centered household, and missional families) useful for transitioning churches to the family equipping model of family ministry.

As for the book's strengths, there is much to commend. One is its emphasis on the role of parents in training our young people to walk with God. No one is more influential “in children's spiritual, social, and behavioral development” than parents (p. 17).That should be obvious to us-the Bible teaches it, common sense confirms it, and research further supports it. But we Christian parents often fall short, sometimes unwittingly, of our God-given responsibility in this area. This is in part because of what the authors refer to as a “deferral culture” (p. 153).With the rise of the “efficiency movement” in the early twentieth century, emphasis was placed on specialization, the creation of experts who were considered better equipped to handle certain responsibilities (p. 153).That has led at times to an over-confidence in the trained staff of the church such that parents defer responsibilities to the children's minister or youth minister, responsibilities that are primarily the parents' and only secondarily the church's.

Here the book is most helpful. It is convincing in its call to parents to take up the mantle of the spiritual training of their children and practical in urging the church to equip parents to do so. Trained ministers do have expertise. That doesn't make them better able to parent our children, however-rather, it makes them better able to assist parents in that role.

A second strength is the book's rich historical perspective. The discussion of family discipleship through the centuries is invaluable, especially chapter 9 (“Family Discipleship in Modern and Postmodern Contexts”). Programmatic, age-segregated children's and youth ministry “is church as the twenty-first century knows it, as the twentieth century refined it, and as the nineteenth century created it” (p. 144).That does not mean we necessarily jettison current practices. But to think critically about the partnership between the local congregation and parents, we must understand the context that colors our thinking. Otherwise, we unthinkingly embrace unbiblical practices that may unintentionally undermine the role of parents.

A third strength is the book's emphasis on the practice of being missional. Books on family ministry are not always robustly missional; Trained in the Fear of God is unashamedly so: “In God's design, Christian households and churches are not shelters from the [cosmic] conflict; they are gospel-empowered training bases for the conflict” (p. 14).In truth, they are shelters too, but the important emphasis on mission is clear. And the examples given in chapter 16-“Building and Equipping Missional Families”-are plentiful. This section would be enhanced by examples in which children need to be missional in their parents' absence (scouts, dance, sporting events, school, etc.).But overall the focus is encouragingly on the biblical task “to expand the borders of the realm wherein the Lord was present, known, served, and worshipped” (pp. 33-34).

As for weaknesses, one in particular is worth raising: a lack of clarity. Although, by design, Trained in the Fear of God “includes no chapters that relate specifically to age-organized programs in the church” (p. 9), it should have. Or at least it should have provided some examples. Without such examples, it is nearly impossible to understand how the local congregation partners with parents in a church with age-organized programs (which are most of our churches).And for that reason, it is nearly impossible to distinguish between the family-based model and the family-equipping model advocated here. Specifics are provided in The Family Ministry Guide, also by Timothy Paul Jones. But the lack of those specifics here diminishes the value of this book.

It also gives a false impression. The overwhelming emphasis on the parents-“It doesn't take a village; it takes a father” (p. 37), and “every effort of the church should be to equip the parents” (p. 159)-might lead to the conclusion that the church has little role in the lives of our children apart from equipping the parents to minister to them. Our emphasis becomes our theology, and the emphasis here often sounds more like the family-integrated model than the family-equipping model. That of course is not the intent of the editors.

The primary value, then, of Trained in the Fear of God is in the theoretical foundation that it provides, a foundation that needs to be supplemented by books like Family Ministry Field Guide: How Your Church Can Equip Parents to Make Disciples and Perspectives on Family Ministry: Three Views. And yet, it is helpful in itself-it continues a much-needed conversation about the partnership of the local congregation and parents, giving historical perspective to that conversation; it reminds parents that they are the primary disciple-makers of their children; and it charges the church to come alongside the parents and assist in that endeavor. All good things!


Michael W. Honeycutt

Michael W. Honeycutt
Covenant Theological Seminary
St. Louis, Missouri, USA

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