When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant;I was a brute beast before you.Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.You guide me with your counsel,and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail,but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:21-26
Dear heavenly Father, this Psalm is like a treasured vacation spot, an oft-returned-to booth at a favorite restaurant, the chair I’m most likely to seek out at the end of a weary day, week or month. Once again, like I’ve found you to be faithful in my faithlessness, and loving when I’m at my most unlovable.
Father, I so look forward to the Day when you’ll never have to be patient or forbearing with me again—never need to be accepting of my immaturity, or indulging of my “rascality.” Like Asaph, I know what it is to be grieved and embittered, senseless and ignorant—even “beastly” before you in my attitude.
I’m never more beastly than when I forget the gospel—when I act like a spiritual orphan, as though your grace isn’t sufficient, as though you’ve not my loving Father—working in all things for my good; working all things together after the counsel of your will; working unremittingly to make me like Jesus, free me from my foolishness, and heal the wounds of my heart.
Indeed Father, you’re with me and for me (even when I don’t feel it and doubt it). You have a grip on me that I’ll never lose or loose (though like Jonah, sometimes I want to run to Tarshish). You’re guiding me (even when I don’t see it or acknowledge it) and you will glorify me, one Day (though it seems like it’s taking forever). Hallelujah, many times over.
Again I proclaim, you are the treasure of my heart, the deepest desire of my most intense longings, and the One who is alone worthy of all my affection and adoration—my portion today, and forever. So very Amen I pray, in Jesus’ merciful and mighty name.