The Apostate’s Creed
I often believe in god, the life-force friendly
observer of heaven and earth.
I believe in a Jesus Christ, our good example
who might have been conceived by the Holy Spirit, if you go for that sort of thing,
born of the Virgin Mary,
victimized by the government,
was crucified, died, and buried;
he descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again, maybe just spiritually in the hearts of his followers, we’re not sure;
he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,
and he will come, but not to judge anybody, because judging is bad.
I believe in sending good thoughts,
the holy catholic pluralism,
the communion of mankind,
the redefinition of sins,
the supremacy of the body,
and that somehow everybody makes it (except Hitler and Donald Trump).