Unfair criticism from others is a fact of life. Sometimes it is because we are doing something foolish, and other times it is because someone else is a bit too critical. Nobody really enjoys being in the crosshairs; it’s uncomfortable at best.
But how do we handle it? Often times when we are on the receiving end of conflict, slander, or other forms of critique, we reflex to defend ourselves. We immediately rouse our inner defense attorney to issue rebuttals for each point of contention. Perhaps we are even proficient enough in conversational karate that we can land a few blow on the other person. So often it is our reflex.
Recently I found myself convicted as I was thinking through such criticism in light of God’s sovereignty. I know that God is sovereign over all things. I also know that he is a good sovereign. He is faithfully working all things together for his glory and my good. I rest in this truth and it often refreshes my weary soul.
But, how, in light of God’s sovereignty, should I think through and interact with critique (especially what appears to be unfair critique)? Three things jumped out to me in personal application and prayer.
- Listen. If an issue has been brought to your attention then perhaps God has used this person to bring it to you. Listening to what people are saying and then prayerfully considering it can often provide the growth and change that God is after in such an uncomfortable trial. You may have not preferred the means, but you would not change the end! Also, I have found that even when people are wrong in their conclusions there are often some kernels of truth in there for me to deal with. Taking the time to turn over the soil of your heart in prayer and contemplation scarcely ever leaves us without some weeds to pull.
- Examine. Going with what I said above, I just want to include that this is practice is not the norm. It is not our natural reflex. We tend to want to refute not receive correction. I am reminded of David in Psalm 7. He is being accused by an opponent (perhaps Saul?) of a number of things. In verses 3-5 he opens up the hood and basically says if he did it then let the judgment be on him (Ps. 7.3-5). How does he get there without examining himself? This is so healthy for us because we are so quick to defend ourselves. When accused we are often quick to exonerate rather than to examine ourselves. The biblical pattern is less self-defending and more self-examining.
- Go. Assuming the sin is properly examined and if necessary confessed and repented of, what do you do next? Don’t leave it there. The Christian must not walk about under the banner of condemnation but rather justification (Rom. 8.1). We must go with our critiques, complaints, slanders, and everything else and see Calvary again. Look there upon the cross and see 50 billion other sins imputed to your Savior. There on the tree he was adorned with our sin. Every impulse of self-righteousness and all deeds of unrighteousness have been charged to Christ. He bore it all! In one sense when we have received critique we could rightly say, “You don’t know the half of it!” These things and millions more my Savior has fully bore. We have been thoroughly critiqued at the cross where we have also been fully pardoned. Don’t skip Calvary when dealing with personal accusations. It is here that we find full acceptance and full acquittal through Christ’s full substitution.
I still don’t relish being slandered or unfairly critiqued. However, in view of God’s character, I have come to embrace these surprising ministers of grace and mercy to me. Though unpleasant these ministers help to deepen our dependence upon Christ, hatred of sin, and gratitude for the gospel.
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