We know pastoral ministry is hard, but it is also tricky. In a given week a pastor can get the following comments:
- Your preaching is blessing me greatly. I am learning to love Christ more and more!
- Your preaching is too theological, it is not helping me.
- Your preaching is too emotional, you need to be more doctrinal.
Sometimes this type of thing will cause you to spin in circles asking, “What am I doing? Is this working?”
I’ve heard John Piper speak of this and he talked about feeling like he is looking in one of those mirrors at the carnival. As you look at one angle the head is small, at another the head is big, etc. No matter which way you turn you get a different view. Ministry can be like this and the pastor can begin to think he is viewing his ineffectiveness in a carnival mirror.
One great, but often neglected resource for encouragement and straight-shooting is the pastor’s own wife. In this case they may not want to seem weak, complaining, or whatever. However, I would encourage pastors to talk to their wife. There is no one who knows you better (for better or worse) and no one who loves you more and wants what is best. You can trust them. So ask questions. Encourage honesty.
What’s more, take note of your wife’s growth in godliness. Many times we take for granted that our wife is going to be godly and growing in godliness. We should never presume upon grace! Instead, we should have our eyes peeled for evidence of grace and then respond with praise to God for it!
I think of my own wife. I have watched her go from an unbelieving utter pagan who was completely uninterested in the glory of Christ to one who is feeding on, delighting in, and defending the majesty of Jesus. This is nothing short of remarkable. Even in the last year I have seen her soar to heights of grace as she showcases God’s power in her life. She is a major encouragement to me as a wife, best friend, and helpmate. But, she is also the homeschooling mother of six, who disciples, counsels, serves, encourages, and does a myriad of other things–mostly behind the scenes–to promote Christ and his church. This makes your jaw drop and your spirit soar when you consider it.
Brother Pastors, do not neglect to observe the work of grace in your wife. She too is under your shepherding care. She listens to your sermons. You are discipling her. Look, observe, and remark upon the grace of God in her life. And then, give praise to God for it.
This does not directly address the issues of your preaching and the corresponding comments, but it does help you to see the impact of your ministry. It also encourages you to get some straight talk from the person who loves you most and wants what is best. Remember your dear and precious wife, she is a blessing from God in so many ways. Don’t overlook her and the bouquet of grace she carries about!
Image Credit: Shutterstock.
