The stats are staggering. And the safety of our children is at stake.
So what’s your church doing about it?
Deepak Reju’s new book, On Guard: Preventing and Responding to Child Abuse at Church (New Growth), is a brilliantly helpful resource aimed at instructing and empowering churches to respond to this quiet crisis. With 25 endorsements from a diverse range of leaders, On Guard is widely praised and tragically needed. After introducing us to the issue, Reju presents eight practical strategies for protecting against abuse and three for responding to it.
I corresponded with the pastor of biblical counseling and family ministry at Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington, D.C., about why churches are so vulnerable, what makes his strategy uniquely effective, how a church can get started, and more. (After reading, watch our roundtable video discussions on “Preventing Sexual Abuse in the Church” and “Caring for Victims of Sexual Abuse” featuring Justin Holcomb, Scotty Smith, and Trillia Newbell.)
How widespread is the problem of child abuse in our churches?
Nobody knows for sure, but we can start with an FBI report on child abuse stating that:
- 1 out of 5 girls, and
- 1 out of 6 boys will be sexually molested by their 18th birthday.
If you are in a congregation of 200 that means about 20 women and 16 men will have been abused. That’s 18 percent of your congregation—a sizable group.
But consider that these numbers are based on those who actually report the abuse. Many more are either too scared or find the pain too overwhelming to open up to others, let alone to get the authorities involved. So 18 percent is probably a conservative estimate.
What are some of the biggest misconceptions you encounter among evangelicals concerning this issue?
There are quite a few. The assumption that abusers are monsters and not anything like us. A sexual offender is probably “seedy” looking, a drug addict or an alcoholic, visibly insane, depraved, brutal, or mentally retarded. Pick your version of a boogeyman and that’s what many people envision when they picture a sexual predator. But the truth is sexual offenders are people just like us—single or married; male or female; blue or white collar; educated or uneducated; rich, middle class, or poor. What surprised me is how many professionals are offenders. I came across examples of a college professor, doctor, lawyer, athletic director, pastor, and many, many more.
Other false misconceptions include:
- It will never happen to us. Look at the statistics, and you discover it’s likely to affect your family or someone you know and love.
- We know the people in our church. Relationships among Christians can be superficial. Have you ever considered how easy is it for someone to hide and not be known in your church? Sexual offenders know this fact and take advantage of it. Often, we know a lot of facts about our friends but don’t really know them deeply.
- Our church is safe. Do you know this for sure? Have you ever asked your pastor or children’s minister what they do to protect the children in your church? Some of you will ask and be delighted at how thoughtful your church is, but others of you might be surprised at how little your church is doing.
Why are churches particularly vulnerable to child abusers?
Many believers are ignorant about this issue of child abuse. They don’t want to bother with such an “icky” subject. And because Christians don’t know the extent of the problem, they don’t guard against it. This kind of ignorance can lead to a naiveté that makes children vulnerable.
Another reason is that too many churches provide easy access to children. Sexual offenders know that churches are always looking for help with children’s ministry and are often facing shortages of volunteers. They know that volunteers are often late, cancel at the last minute, or don’t even bother showing up for their service. So sexual predators show up at churches eager to make themselves known and ready to serve. No other organization provides such quick and easy access to kids.
A third reason is cheap grace. If a sexual offender is actually caught, he or she counts on cheap grace—grace that comes freely and with little cost. Abusers are not dumb. They know that if they cry, offer words of contrition, and promise never to do it again, they are likely to avoid significant consequences. Pastors and churches are forgiving. They are quick to apply the gospel and slow to apply the consequences that come from the law.
I list several other reasons in On Guard, including abuse of authority, manipulation of religious language, and attitudes of invincibility.
What’s the main way your plan for preventing child abuse is “more comprehensive” than others you’ve encountered?
Most churches will have parts of this strategy in place. A few will be doing all of these strategies. Sadly, many churches will be doing nothing. Look at the literature directed at churches. You see a lot about writing a policy, screening, reporting abuse, and responding to abuse. But there’s little other current and accessible instruction for churches. So On Guard details eight strategies for protecting against abuse and three for responding to it.
Eight Strategies for Protecting Against Abuse:
- Creating and implementing a child protection policy
- A check-in and check-out process
- Membership
- Screening and verification
- Building design
- Training your staff and volunteers
- Preparing church leaders, parents, children, and teens before abuse happens
- Getting to know the people and resources in your community
Three Strategies for Responding to Abuse:
- Help a church be responsible by reporting abuse
- Help a church respond wisely to victims, the congregation, and the media
- Help a church deal wisely with a child abuser
There were a few subjects—like how to deal with a sexual offender when he or she visits your church, or how to design your children’s ministry wing, or the problem of child-on-child abuse—that I couldn’t find anywhere. So I talked to several experts and churches that have dealt with such matters, did a lot of thinking in these areas, and came up with some guidelines to help others out.
None of us wants to deal with this issue, but the stakes are too high to ignore it. How would you counsel a church to get started?
Start by establishing a protocol for your church, which means writing up and implementing a child protection policy (CPP). A CPP is a set of self-imposed guidelines that describe how a church is going to protect and care for the children under its care. An important part of fighting abuse is planning ahead. You create and implement a CPP because you want to define the parameters for a safe environment for your children before a problem arises in your church.
But this is only a first step. There’s so much more we can and should do to protect the children in our care.
Is there enough evidence for us to believe the Gospels?
In an age of faith deconstruction and skepticism about the Bible’s authority, it’s common to hear claims that the Gospels are unreliable propaganda. And if the Gospels are shown to be historically unreliable, the whole foundation of Christianity begins to crumble.
