How to Jesus Juke a Justin Bieber Story

Yesterday, pop star Justin Bieber was charged with drunken driving, resisting arrest, and driving without a valid license after police saw the young singer driving a yellow Lamborghini in a race against a red Ferrari in a residential area of Miami Beach. Upon hearing the news, web and social media savvy Christians across America began thinking, “How can I Jesus juke this Justin Bieber story” to maximize the number of pageviews/retweets/likes I can get while bringing glory to Jesus? justin-biebers-mug-shotFor those who haven't figured out the best approach yet, here are four recommended methods for how to Jesus Juke a Justin Bieber story*:

The Justin-Needs-Jesus Juke

Example: “Justin Bieber needs Jesus.”

Why It Works: True, Justin Bieber is probably not going to read your tweet, Facebook status, or blog post. But then again, you never know. His eternal destiny could be at stake so let's let him — or at least our friends and family — know what he really needs.  

The Let's Talk About Jesus Instead Juke

Example: “Imagine how many souls could be saved if we were talking about Jesus right now instead of Justin Bieber.”

How It Works: Most everyone you know was probably in the process of witnessing to an unrepentant sinner before they got distracted by the Justin Bieber story. By reminding them of what they could be talking about, you can help them get back to their main focus in life.  

The Gospel-Centered Jesus Juke

Example: “Jesus isn't mocking Justin Bieber – so why are we? Let's show him and his fans the love of Christ instead.”

Why It Works: It's straightforward and true, which makes us feel guilty about mocking Justin Bieber. While we all want to mock Justin Bieber, good Christians also want to feel guilty about it afterwards.  

The Joke About the Jukers Approach

Example: Write a sardonic post about 'How to Jesus Juke a Justin Bieber Story.'

How It Works: As a way to say, “I thank you, God, that I am not a Jesus Juker like everyone else,” write a post gently mocking your fellow evangelicals who are tempted to juke for Jesus. You'll be able to take advantage of the SEO benefits of having the term “Justin Bieber” show up in your post twelve times while still showing everyone that you are above that sort of evangelical silliness.

*A  'Jesus Juke' is when some Christian brings Jesus into an argument or conversation out of nowhere.