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Clear-Winter-Nights_1a-716x1024Today is Epiphany. In many Western churches, this day commemorates the wise men’s visit to the baby Jesus. In the Eastern churches, the focus of Epiphany is on the manifestation of the Trinity in Jesus’ baptism.

The Romanian Baptist churches refer to this day as “the Lord’s baptism” day. When I lived in Romania, I heard many sermons on Jesus’ baptism, and over time, I became smitten by the beauty of Jesus’ baptism:

  • The beauty of Christ’s humanity as He identifies Himself with His sinful people.
  • The beauty of Christ being cleansed by a man whose sins He will later atone for on the cross.
  • The beauty of the Trinity: The Father speaks, the Son rises, the Spirit descends.

And then there’s the Father’s declaration of love for His Son. That’s what stirs up my heart’s affections with praise and gratitude because, understanding myself in Christ, God’s words are true of me too. I love this scene so much that I made it a pivotal part of the conversion of Gilbert Walker (the grandfather in Clear Winter Nights).

“Ironic, isn’t it? I didn’t get it. This whole business of undeserved favor was the heart of the Christianity I was trying my best to conform to.” Gil sighed. “It’d be funny if not for the fact that a lot of people see Christianity the same way.”

“What way?”

“That it’s just about being and doing good. That it’s all about the dos and don’ts.”

“You think that’s common?” Chris took his place at the table again.

“Almost everyone I’ve led to Christ—whether they were upstanding, good, moral people or out-and-out scoundrels without a hope in the world—they’ve all thought, at least at first, that the point of Christianity was ‘being good.'”

“That is part of being a Christian, isn’t it?”

“Sure. Doctrine of sanctification. God remakes us in the image of Christ. So, yes, we’ll grow and become better than we were. But if you think the whole point of Christianity is moral reformation, you’ll find out quickly how powerless you are to make that reformation happen.”

“So Christianity is about giving up?”

“No, it’s about giving in,” Gil said. “Giving in to God. Handing your heart and life over to Him and casting yourself on His mercy alone.”

“And you were trying to become a better person all by yourself—”

“As if I could muster up the power to change. But salvation doesn’t come from our willpower. It’s God’s will and power. Grace comes first…”

~~~~~

“I was focused on cleaning myself up and making myself good enough for God, good enough for Frances, good enough for the world. But Anthony didn’t talk like that. He kept talking about God being good. About Christ being good enough. About how he wanted to live for God because of what God had done for him. My focus was all on me. His focus was all on God.”

Chris nodded his head and stared off toward the window above the sink. Gil wondered what he was thinking.

“It was a couple of months after going to church that I started reading the Bible. Anthony told me to pick a gospel. So I did. The gospel of Mark—it being the shortest, of course. I read it over and over again. I was starting it again one morning, and I got to the place where Jesus was baptized and the Father spoke words over Him, saying, ‘Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.’ And everything I was hearing in church, from Frances, from Anthony—all of it came together.”

“The baptism story?” Chris looked puzzled. “That’s an odd part of Scripture for a conversion story.”

“The Word’s powerful, sharper than a two-edged sword. Even the long lists of names remind you of the faithfulness of God, from generation to generation.”

“What about the baptism story got to you?” Chris seemed curious.

“Well, right then I realized all this talk about trusting Jesus and being a true child of God meant that whatever God said about His Son, He could say about me. He loved me—Gilbert Walker! Not because I was smart or special or had great talents or gifts. It wasn’t because I was living the ‘good Christian life’ I was trying so hard to get right. He just looked at me and loved me. He delighted in me like a father delighting in his children. It suddenly all made sense.”

Gil felt his eyes moistening, but his voice sounded stronger than it had all evening.

“And I saw how deep my sin was. How foolish I was to try and fix myself. How silly my attempts at being a good man looked compared to King Jesus. And then I saw grace. I could look through Jesus’s righteousness and hear God say, ‘You are My beloved son, Gil. In you I am well pleased.’ And here I hadn’t even done anything. Hadn’t lived right. Hadn’t loved right. Hadn’t even had the right motive for going to church and reading my Bible. But He loved me anyway. Loved me when I was prideful and self-righteous and using people. Loved me when I was trying my best to earn His approval.”

Gil’s voice cracked, but he quickly recovered. “And the tears started just rolling down my cheeks. I knelt down by my bed, confessed every sin I could think of, and I just said over and over again, ‘Thank You, Jesus. I’m Yours, Jesus. Whatever You want, Jesus.’ And in the back of my mind, I heard God’s voice clear as day, like an echo in a canyon: ‘I delight in you, Gil, just because you’re Mine. You belong to Me. I love you as I love My Son.’ And right then and there, I knew God accepted me because of Jesus.”

Chris took a deep breath and nodded. “Sounds like you got a hold of grace.”

“No,” Gil said, taking off his glasses and wiping his eyes. “Grace got a hold of me.”

– from Clear Winter Nights. For more information, see here.

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