Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,

You are a gift of God to your husband and your kids.

But you don’t always feel that way, do you?

There’s a low-level feeling of guilt that creeps into your heart from time to time. Sometimes it bubbles over into tears, usually on lonely, difficult days.

You scan blogs and read books about being a good mom. You find some helpful tidbits here and there, often from women who are grandmothers now. Women you can learn from but who seem to have forgotten the struggle. They seem to have it all together.

In your heart, you want to be the kind of mom who trains up kids to make a difference for the kingdom. You know it’s an honor to be entrusted with these kids. You know you’ve only got one shot. You want to be the mom who teaches them the Bible, models how to pray, and trains them up in the fear of the Lord.

But most of the time you feel like you’re barely holding it all together.

Your house cleaning can’t keep up with your kids’ mess-making.

The kids embarrass you by acting up right when your guests arrive.

Your husband doesn’t get just how worn out you are by the end of the day.

You come to the end of your patience. You lose your temper. Then you feel worse.

The last thing you consider yourself to be is a “good mom.” And you think to yourself, It’ll be a miracle if my kids turn out okay.

And – surprisingly – that’s right where God wants to meet you. The place where you admit your powerlessness and your need for Him.

It’s only by God’s grace that any kid grows up to be a force for the kingdom.

You see, there are no perfect kids and no perfect mothers. No matter what you read in blogs, see in magazines, and learn in books. There are sinful kids and sinful moms and dads.

And the only thing greater than both is the grace of God. The God who says “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The God who loves to forgive, to transform, and empower.

God loves you – not because you are a good mother but just because you are His precious child.

God loves you – not because you’ve mastered all the skills of parenting but because He has.

It’s divine grace that will transform your parenting – not guilt.

It’s grace that will keep you going and serving and scrubbing when you’re exhausted and worn out.

It’s grace that will conquer your feelings of inadequacy and remind you of God’s love for you in Christ.

It’s grace that goes for the heart of your kids, not just their behavior.

God has demonstrated the fullness of His love for you through the cross of His Son, even while you were still a sinner.

He has promised you His presence.

He has spoken His approval over you in Christ.

He is the perfect Father who delights in you as a daughter.

Find in Him your Treasure and Joy. Be to others what He is to you.

So walk in freedom. Let Him hold you together when everything seems to be falling apart.

Bask in His unfailing love for you. And rest in His promise of power.

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90 thoughts on “Dear Stay-At-Home Mom…”

  1. Aimee Byrd says:

    Trevin, I think God puts the housewife in a unique place to learn this lesson you have discussed in your article.
    Last paragraph of my article Housewives and Paychecks:
    This lesson may be easier for the housewife. We can never fully rest from the chores that need to be done, or the kids that need our attention. We constantly feel like big, fat failures in our attempts to be the perfect wife and mother. This is particularly when I need to be reminded that God (the only one I need to impress) looks at me, and on the account of Christ, he is utterly satisfied. I can rest in the work of Christ. There is no Superwoman ideal that I need to attain. Now I am liberated to serve him in gratitude, knowing that He is my reward. Not earning a paycheck and not having specific days off (sigh) may compel me all the more to really evaluate what I think I’m earning for myself. Then I can realize that I don’t keep the world running, and I can rest in the One who does.
    http://www.housewifetheologian.com/housewives-and-paychecks-2/

  2. Kameron Labate says:

    As a newly stay-at-home-mom with a 15 month old and being 5 months pregnant, I love being with my son and watching how much he has grown and being able to hug him when he is happy and kiss his tears when he is crying. But some days like today, when he is holding on for dear life and crying (cutting teeth)and nothing helps or makes him feel better and the dogs are whining because the water bowl is empty, and now add I have a pregnancy headache (caused by hormones)it makes a difficult day (and its only 9am).

    My husband sent me the link this morning and God knew it was what I needed at that time. I read it through tears of relief and joy that God, once again, provided for my need in the form of a reminder of grace and mercy and to stop trying to hold on to Him but to instead rest in Him and His promises.

  3. Beth McMichen says:

    What a sweet, sweet reminder! And it goes so well with what was quoted yesterday in our church worship guide, from J.C. Ryle:

    “Let the world know that the Lord Jesus will not cast away His believing people because of shortcomings and infirmities. The husband does not put away his wife because he finds failings in her. The mother does not forsake her infant because it is weak, feeble, and ignorant. And the Lord Christ does not cast off poor sinners who have committed their souls into His hands because He sees in them blemishes and imperfections. Oh! no! it is His glory to pass over the faults of His people, and heal their backslidings—to make much of their weak graces, and to pardon their many faults. The eleventh of Hebrews is a wonderful chapter. It is marvelous to observe how the Holy Ghost speaks of the worthies whose names are recorded in that chapter. The faith of the Lord’s people is there brought forward, and had in remembrance. But the faults of many an one, which might easily have been brought up also, are left alone, and not mentioned at all.

    “Consider the tenderness and patience of the Lord Jesus, and be afraid no more. Fear not to take up the cross, and come out boldly from the world. That same Lord and Savior who bore with the disciples is ready and willing to bear with you. If you stumble, He will raise you. If you err, He will gently bring you back. If you faint, He will revive you. He will not lead you out of Egypt, and then suffer you to perish in the wilderness. He will conduct you safe into the promised land. Only commit yourself to His guidance, and then, my soul for yours, He shall carry you safe home. Only hear Christ’s voice, and follow Him, and you shall never perish.”

  4. Sarah Taras says:

    Thank you! This is the encouragement that we desperately need that is so lacking!!!! :)

  5. Jenn says:

    Thanks for the reminder :) Ladies, if you have time this is a great read from G.K.Chesterton, The Emancipation of Domesticity:

    http://www.ignatiusinsight.com/features2007/print2007/gk_domestwwww_july07.html

    1. Anna says:

      Great piece from Chesterton! Thanks!

  6. Moe says:

    I got a lot out of your blog post and I’ve mentioned it on my blog and put a link for readers to come on over.
    Thanks,
    Moe

    http://adoptivemomhomeschoolinganonlychild.blogspot.com/2012/08/are-you-good-mom.html

  7. Amy Miller says:

    Oh this was sooo needed this morning!! I am Momma to my almost 4 year old and 31 weeks pregnant with our second precious one! My son’s mouth has been in full swing this morning and his attitude has been sooo frustrating. I needed this encouragement and refreshing flood of grace for my heart and my attitude! I’m glad to know there are no perfect Mom’s and kids – yet I feel that I hold myself and my son to a standard of perfection that won’t ever be met. So thankful for God’s grace that pours fresh every day!

  8. pentamom says:

    Just one minor tweak from an “older” SAHM who is no longer so much “in the mill” (kids are 11 through 21 now):

    “It’s grace that will keep you going and serving and scrubbing when you’re exhausted and worn out.”

    Or sometimes, it’s grace that will let you decide that God loves your kids enough (more than you do!) so that you actually CAN take a rest, and He will continue to watch over them even if that discipline issue does slide for one day, the house stays a mess for a few hours more, and you eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner that night.

    Sometimes grace gives you strength; sometimes it can be there to remind you that you’re allowed to be weak sometimes, because it’s not your strength carries the weight, regardless of the source.

    1. Sarah says:

      I was hoping someone would say this. :)

      I was thinking… it’s grace that pours over us when we linger in our bad attitudes, too. Or when we take too long of a break that what we really needed. Or when we yell and even in the middle of it, we know we ought to stop, but we keep yelling anyway. I’m sure I’m not the only SAHM that’s done all of these things.

      But grace is there for all of that, too.

      1. pentamom says:

        Very well said, Sarah. Grace is for the failures that we too often are, it’s not just vitamin food for perseverers. Of course grace does enable us to persevere over the long haul, but it’s there when we stumble, too.

    2. Tana I says:

      What a great word! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I often lean this way in my current stage of motherhood of a 1 and 2 year old.

  9. Flyaway says:

    My strong willed daughter drove me to the Lord when she was 2 years old. I fell to my knees and told the Lord that I couldn’t raise this daughter by myself. My husband worked all the time and didn’t have time to help. It was all up to me. Soon a lady at church started a moms group and we studied “Help, I’m a Parent” by Bruce Narramore. One time we went on a picnic at a park with our 2 year olds. All the other children sat on their blankets and ate their lunch. Mine ran off. I thought that maybe she would come back if I called to her–she didn’t. I found her in the middle of a baseball game. She would run into the street when all the other children would stay on the sidewalk. I finally spanked her and after about 10 times she stopped running into the street. I had the strength to enforce only two rules with her at two and then at fifteen–I have to know where you are at all times and don’t kill yourself or anybody else. She is now a group manager and a wife and mother and she has two little girls just like her! Keep praying! I had my quiet time when she was watching Sesame Street. Suzanna Wesley threw her apron up over her head and the children knew she was having her quiet time!

    1. Abbie says:

      I was about to write the same thing! As a working mom, the Christian community seems to be working full time to make me feel like a failure because in order to meet our obligations I have to work right now. At least it feels that way sometimes and it’s frustrating to say the least because I’m submitting to my husband and doing what’s best for my family right now. And even though I don’t spend 24 hours a day with my 2 kids, I am concerned for them 24 hours a day and often feel the same feelings of frustrations that stay at home moms feel. Don’t leave us out…. Moms are moms!

      1. Laura says:

        Abbie, I have worked (had to) all of my adult life, through all of my daughter’s childhood and to the present and will into the foreseeable future.

        Given that I had to work, I didn’t see the need to do it in sackcloth and ashes. I enjoyed my work and I still do. And my daughter was fine – she’s 25 and I don’t think her dad and I could be more pleased with the way she turned out.

        I hope you give yourself permission to enjoy your job and not view working as an unmitigated hardship. And if people try to send you on a guilt trip about it, tell them to take a hike.

        1. Abbie says:

          Laura, Thanks for your sweet words. I’m only 3 years into this whole being a mom thing and have certainly had my ups and down with the whole having to work aspect of it, but I’m thankful that God has allowed me to look past so much of what I read (I love to read and study!) and see the truth in His Word and to find joy in my work and SO much joy in being home with my kids when I am. I know that I am right where God wants me to be, and there is much joy and peace when we rest in Him.

          I’ve been wanting to blog about this for awhile and I may soon at http://www.strongsomenstudy.wordpress.com

  10. Krysta says:

    I think this is a great message for all moms (those who have jobs outside the home, as well). Couldn’t it have just been called, “Dear Moms…”?

    1. Brenda says:

      I’m afraid I have to agree with Krysta.

      1. Rachel says:

        I agree totally. Working moms struggle in the same capacity, and add on the guilt of having to be away from their kids. Doesn’t matter whether you work or not- same struggles.

        1. Autumn says:

          Actually they are not the same struggles…. They are very different! Why can’t someone write something specifically for SAHM without working mothers getting all defensive? I have no idea what it would be like to work a full time job and come home to take care of Mommy stuff at the end of the day… because I have always been a SAHM! Someone who has always been a working Mom doesn’t truly know what it’s like to be at home full time with your children. And that’s ok!! :) We deal with very different things day to day.

          1. Rachel says:

            I am a working mother and was not getting defensive at all. In fact, I DO know what it is like to be at home full-time with my child. I have done that, also. My point was that this article could be written for ALL moms, not just SAHM’s. Working mothers need to hear this sometimes, too, which is why Rebecca and Brenda made the comments about this being valid for working mothers. And, I agreed.

          2. Leslie says:

            I guess I should start out by saying, I’ve done both SAHM and non-SAHM. I can see why Krysta would ask the question, “Couldn’t have just been called “Dear Moms””. In my experience, so very few Christian articles/blogs are written to encourage the non-SAHM. Most things I come across only heap discouragement and guilt on the non-SAHM mom. Some written pieces do address the specific ways to handle specific struggles of the SAHM or the non-SAHM. But in this case, everything in the above article I have faced as both a non-SAHM and SAHM. While the way our struggles play out are different, the overwhelming feelings of discouragement moms face are basically the same, and I think that is what this article addresses, whether the author intended it that way or not. We all need encouragement, and I hope to see more encouragement from the Christian community for both SAHM and non-SAHM moms in the future.

          3. HannahB says:

            I agree with you, Autumn (although I have worked outside the home). Being with my children 24/7 for 363+/- days a year is different than leaving them with someone else 30-40 hours a week. It’s just a basic fact. There are some who feel it necessary to do so and I’m not judging, but yes, “Why can’t someone write something specifically for SAHM without working mothers getting all defensive?” The working moms get the majority of media attention and far more glory than the homemakers ever do in our current culture.

            Thank you for this article, Trevin. Very much needed – especially today!

          4. Brenda says:

            Leslie, very well said. I wish my statements would have been so articulate. This is the exact point I was trying to make. The article itself is great.

          5. Akash says:

            Cause working mothers are generally insecure about themselves!!

            Stay at home mom’s have gotten over their insecurities and lies that they are lesser/inferior

          6. Dee says:

            I was a SAHM for 5.5 years. I am now a working mom because my husband cannot work due to kidney failure. I HAVE to work to feed my family. I HAVE to do all of the stuff I used to do when I stayed home, because my husband is sick. I CAN’T afford a nanny or childcare, so my son stays home with his sick father. There is no media glory to my working, there are no “work friends” or TV-like water-cooler breaks. I have been in both worlds and they are both so hard and someone is always judging you for something.
            And Autumn, if you have never worked (and I thank God for that for you! really!:) ) how do you know the struggles are very different?
            I just ask that we all realize that everyone on this earth is struggling and that we all respect each others motherhood experience for what it is, amazing and really hard.

        2. Brenda says:

          Rachel, I wish I could *like* your comment. I totally agree with you. I only work part time, but I work so that our family can have food and other basics. My husband works so hard, over 40 hours a week, and his check just about covers our rent and utilities (and we DO NOT live in a fancy house). I come home after working for someone else and BEGIN the housekeeping/homework helping/childcare part of the day. Plus I feel guilty that I place my kids in public school rather than homeschooling which would be my preference. All moms work so hard! No need to make anyone feel guiltier.

          1. Jennifer says:

            Me too!

          2. Autumn says:

            I HAVE worked Dee…. just not since I became a mother… :) I know they are different because it is a fact…. Being home with your children 24 hours a day 7 days a week has it’s own set of challenges…. As does working outside the home and still doing Mom duties. They are just different! Why is that such a big deal to say?

        3. Ellen says:

          If you believe you are being faithful and obedient to God, then please let go of guilt. There are many circumstances which require mothers to work outside the home. Even those of us who stay at home understand that.

          You answer to God, not other mothers.

          1. Akash says:

            Agreed!!!!

      2. Courtney says:

        Yes! As a working mom who puts in 40 hours of work a week and also takes care of my family, I agree 100 percent.

    2. Margaret says:

      I’m a SAHM and I agree with this. Though sometimes there’s something to feeling like a glorified unpaid cleaning lady that’s a little more demoralizing than a mom who’s doing something obvious to care for the family.

  11. Sarah says:

    you don’t know how much this post was needed – for this very day! I am a SAHM who also watches another family (2 little ones). Today has been a string of struggles with all four kids – leaving my nerves fried and my actions not always so ‘loving’.

    I have struggled with the though that I was better off at work, then my kids wouldn’t see me so upset all the time…i pray that God is helping them to see my heart, even when the tears are falling and I am at the end of that days rope.

    thank you!

  12. annab3ar says:

    you just made me cry a little. thanks.

  13. Cat Poland says:

    I really needed to hear this today!

  14. Tina says:

    Crying as I read this.
    Thank you for the reminder, it was a gift.

  15. Georgina says:

    Thank you.

  16. Valarie Hudson says:

    Thank you so much. I homeschool my 16 year old daughter. I love doing it and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I’ve been going through a battle lately. Your blog today has helped me so much. I was crying by the time I finished. You have been such a blessing. God bless you abundantly!!!!!! :)

  17. Nancy Libby says:

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It’s so good to know I am not alone. I am a SAHM with four children, three are ages 6 and under. In addition the youngest has sensory issues. I also run a daycare from my home caring for four other children (two are part time). AND I homeschool all of them. Well, we’ll see how it goes this year. This is the first year ALL of them will officially be schooled. A very dear friend sent this to me and I really needed to know there are others feeling the same way and that God’s going to see us through. If he’s brought us to it, He’s gonna bring us through it, right??? Praise our God for His never ending grace and mercy!

  18. JJ says:

    This needs to go in a frame near the sink where I will read it every time I do the dishes. Thank you for the reminder that we all need.

  19. Rebecca says:

    I like this article but not liking the stay at home mom part. I am a single mom that has to do all of this and work full time. Imagine the guilt I feel daily! My xhusband expected me to be SAHM like and work full time. Obviously that worked out! Anyways, thanks for the Godly words of wisdom, but know, not just SAHM feel this way, all women do!

  20. Jen Clark says:

    Wow. You have NO idea how much I needed to read this today. Thank you!!!

  21. Jean Cody says:

    That was so timely and true. It’s only by the Grace of God that we get through each day as Mothers….and it’s only by the Grace of God…that our children make it on through…..and find their strength through the teachings of Jesus….in spite of the sins of their parents….to be better parents!!! God bless each of you young parents….and help you to make it through with your sweet little ones!

  22. Leslie says:

    Thanks for sharing! Made me tear up. Saving this, it is probably good to read it daily :)

  23. Andrea says:

    This applies to those of us moms working outside the home too who must do all this plus be accountable to a boss in our job. Don’t forget us! Very encouraging words though.

  24. Thank you for your reminder of our true position. We do need to repeat these truths daily. May the Word continue to spread rapidly within your own heart.

  25. Linda says:

    This was sent to me by my stay at home daughter, Jen, who is a wonderful mother to a 3 year old and 7 month old. It immediately brought tears to my eyes and I am at work, trying to keep it “together”. I always worked part-time raising my three children, now grown, and always felt in the middle of the “stay at home Moms’ and the “full time working Moms”. You always want to be the “perfect Mom” and when things don’t go the way you had hoped with your children, you always feel responsible, even when they are adults (at least I do). This article made me realize how God loves all of us Moms just the way we are and none of us is “perfect”, only God. My worst nightmare came true, when just 3 years ago, I lost my middle child – at age 26 – and struggle with what I did wrong, etc., etc. Again, this article hits home about “powerlessness”, which I needed to hear today – and who did I hear it from? My loving adult daughter – so again, we feel our children’s joy and we feel our children’s pain – but today, it was joy brought to me by my daughter. Thanks, honey! xoxoxo

  26. Wendy says:

    It is just SO frustrating that this is addressed only to “Stay At Home Moms.” I happen to be a working mom, I work at home, but I work because I have no choice. My husband and I are both committed Christians. We had plans and hopes I would be able to not be a working mom, but circumstances beyond our control have prevented that.

    It feels like everything in the church in general revolves around stay-at-home moms. Ladies’ things are during the workday, for the most part. At least anything aimed at moms.

    Why are these comments addressed to the stay-at-home mom? Aren’t many of these things true of ALL of us moms? Am I not a “gift of God to my husband and kids”? Is it any less true that I can’t keep up with the mess either? Do I worry about how my children will turn out? YES. All of these things apply to me, but I feel invisible in the church. Because SO MUCH of the time, everything is addressed to stay-at-home moms.

    Sometimes I feel like giving up. Not on my faith, but on ever being understood or recognized by “the church” in general.

    Sorry for the vent but this is just so frustrating. I feel like we working mothers are the red-headed stepchildren of the church.

  27. This is AWESOME! I have a radio show on Blog Talk Radio called “The Homeschool Homemaker” and I would love to read this and interview you. Please let me know what you think.

    Thanks,
    Carrie
    The Homeschool Homemaker

  28. Michelle says:

    I understand that some people are upset that this is addressed to stay-at-home moms (I work part time and have a 13-month-old, so I fall somewhere in between), but why do you read it and fixate on that one little piece.

    If you read the article and felt it applied to you and spoke to you, no matter what your employment status is, what difference does it make what the opening line says. Appreciate the gospel encouragement that was written.

    As moms and SISTERS IN CHRIST we have to stop tearing each other down, but rather build each other up. Remember that before you comment on any blog or article.

    1. Danielle says:

      You are not really helping to “build up” by your reply either. I completely agree with the above poster’s comments. When you feel like you don’t quite measure up because you CAN’T stay home with your children, something “small”, like the title of this article, hurts.

  29. Trevin Wax says:

    To all who have complained that I titled the article “Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,” please know that I wrote the article for my wife, who is currently staying at home, after a long conversation about these matters. It was meant to encourage her, and all the other moms who feel the way she does. It was not intended to be limited to stay-at-home moms, and I think the insights can be taken for working moms, and working dads too, for that matter! But if I had called the article “Dear Mom…” you would have thought I was writing to my mother. ;)

    1. Wendy says:

      Those of you commenting on “why are you upset that it is titled ‘Dear Stay at Home Mom’ are missing the point. The point is that EVERYTHING in the conservative church culture is ONLY addressed to stay-at-home moms. It DOES make a difference what an article is titled, when that is the attitude that we have to deal with all the time!

      No one is trying to tear anyone down or not be “Sisters in Christ” by constructive criticism. It’s time that some folks got a bit more sensitive. Don’t you hear the hurt and frustration from some working moms? Instead of making it an argument, why not just acknowledge there is some legitimate frustration?

      It’s like we working moms don’t exist or don’t count. Everyone is assumed to be a stay-at-home mom. At least, that seems to be true in all the churches I’ve been in.

      It just hits a nerve.

      Sure, we can take the insights from it, fine.

      But part of being a skilled writer is saying what you mean. If it was intended for all moms, then how about “Dear Christian Mom?”

  30. Michelle says:

    “The point is that EVERYTHING in the conservative church culture is ONLY addressed to stay-at-home moms.”

    First of all, those are some pretty over generalized terms.

    I DO hear the hurt and frustration, and from someone who has worked full time (currently working part time), I think that by getting completely hung up on the title, we can miss the whole point of the article, which is that WE NEED JESUS to be our hope, not being a better mom (or being a stay-at-home mom). I agree that if I were writing this I would have titled it differently, but this is someone’s personal blog.

    I wasn’t trying be negative with my reply, it just makes me sad that people can be so negative toward someone else’s blog posts. It is not like a newspaper article. These are peoples lives, and personal experiences.

    1. Wendy says:

      Oh for goodness sake. When someone blogs, and feels free to share their life on the internet, they should *expect* comments. If they don’t want it to be part of public debate, don’t put it on the internet! No one here *at all* has been nasty, unkind or anything. Some of us have simply disagreed.

      My comment is generalized because it is based on 15 years of experience. This is how I feel after all the churches I have been in. That is *my* experience.

  31. Jamie says:

    Thank you! Simply stated Thank you!

  32. Andrea Sangjun says:

    Thank you so much for this blog!
    It is very uplifting and refreshing!
    God bless you! And know that you
    have blessed and touched many
    Stay at home Moms through this
    Beautiful post! Thank you again!
    Keep it up! Don’t ever get discouraged.
    Ever.
    With love,
    A sister in Christ

  33. Hannah says:

    So in keeping with the observations given by both SAHM and working moms, can I request a post for all the dads and husbands out there who work menial jobs too? Who maybe aren’t covered in peanut butter or have to change dirty diapers all day, but who, for the sake of their families, might be sprayed in diesel oil or come home covered in mud?

    I completely get the intention of your piece–I’m a SAHM myself–but there are a lot of people working mundane, earthy jobs that need this same encouragement. Because while the challenges of SAHMs are distinct, they are not unusual.

    1. dee says:

      If you feel a need for such a post then why dont you write it yourself? :)

      1. Hannah says:

        I might just have to do that. (But it’s just so much easier to push it off on someone else. :-) )

  34. Lynn says:

    Thank you so much. This was exactly what I needed tonight.

  35. Stacie Cook says:

    Love this blog, however I am confused by comments I’m reading. Isn’t the point of a blog to write about personal experience? The writer is writing from his (his wife’s) experience, which is being a SAHM. I don’t understand how someone can read a blog and then say, well, I wish you had written a different blog. IT’S a BLOG. If I have a blog about me wearing only short-sleeve shirts and someone comes along and says, “Well, I wear long and short sleeve, so you should write about that”. I don’t wear long-sleeves, so I don’t have that perspective to write from. I am quite positive there are blogs out there written by working moms that give a viewpoint of a working mom. And if there isn’t, write your OWN. It sounds like it would be a popular blog.

    1. Hannah says:

      Playing devil’s advocate– You’re absolutely right that most blogs are very personal, but this particular setting is much more public, almost like a speaker at a podium. So what he chooses to include and exclude is significant if his audience is in anyway multi-faceted. Because truthfully, writing isn’t simply about airing your thoughts–it’s also about connecting with your audience; and I think some of the negative response came from too narrowly-defining the audience. People simply felt left out by the title–in essence, if you’re not a SAHM, these things don’t apply to you.

      Having said that, once T.Wax explained that he wrote this for his wife, it made a lot more sense. If people had read “To the mother of my children…” instead of “Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,” I don’t think they would have felt slighted, working mom or otherwise.

      Still, all in all, it’s a very helpful and encouraging piece and I think a lot of the bluster has nothing to do with this specific post but is simply symptomatic of deeper issues within the subculture.

  36. Ashley says:

    I’m writing this comment while one of my children is shaking the baby gate yelling “Mommy! Mommy!” and my other is on my lap screaming at the top of his lungs! So forgive me if this doesn’t make sense. This morning I woke up at 6 am crying to my husband about how I am failing as a stay at home mom (a job that I once thought would be SO simple. Obviously, I thought this prior to having children) This blog was sent to me this morning from a friend 1000 miles away who I haven’t talked to in weeks. JUST IN TIME! :) Thank you for this post. Great reminders and truths. I’m about to read it again during nap time. :)

  37. Mairi says:

    Hi Trevin! I thought this was a great article! So much so I’ve shared it on the blog I’m part of contributing to. I hope you don’t mind. I’ve referenced it back to you but please let me know if my referencing is not adequate or you’d rather take it down! As a SAHM it’s really great to get such good encouragement occasionally!

  38. kirstin says:

    What a timely article- I love being at home with my kids, but this job is no joke! Any encouragement is much appreciated!

  39. Elizabeth says:

    With tears I write this one comment – Thank you!

  40. Lauren says:

    This isn’t the story of the life of a stay-at-home mom, this is motherhood regardless of where your daily vocation lies. For women who work outside the home the guilt, the juggling is just so much more magnified. God has NOT called women to be either at home or at work…HE HAS CALLED ALL who have children to be mothers. If the family finances deem that the mother works, than that is an economic perspective of the family dynamics not a matter of calling.

  41. Julie says:

    This is a wonderfully encouraging article for young moms. Thank you for taking the time to help them see that the Lord, in His grace, will see after our needs and cares, in spite of our weaknesses and failures, if our desire is truly to honor Him. However, I have one question. Why, if God commanded Titus to have the older women teach the younger women how to love their husbands and love their children, do many young moms think that we older moms just don’t remember what it was like and discount our input? There appears to be a quickness to read online everything the world offers about raising a family, but a hesitation to consider the different counsel from godly older women in the church. I do not mean to say that everything we did was best or even necessarily Biblical. Therefore such input should be weighed with scripture and prayed about. Humility is required on both sides, but God’s intention has not changed. It is hard to watch many young women be completely overwhelmed with child-rearing and home-making and know that there are some very practical ways to relieve some of the stressing factors, but not even be able to make suggestions, because they aren’t interested in hearing it. I am careful not to approach young women with my experience or perceived “wisdom”. I wait until I am asked or hear a frustration, and enter the opportunity very delicately. I just don’t want to see young women discouraged from listening and learning from the older women. I believe God intends for older women to be a help, as well as, bearers of great hope in Christ.

  42. Carrie says:

    What a great post. Needed that today.

  43. amy says:

    I don’t understand why this is addressed to the Stay-at-Home mom. Is there any detail in this that actually only pertains to a SAHM? I could not find one.

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Trevin Wax


​Trevin Wax is managing editor of The Gospel Project at LifeWay Christian Resources, husband to Corina, father to Timothy, Julia, and David. You can follow him on Twitter. Click here for Trevin’s full bio.

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