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criticism-784297Church leaders will face criticism from time to time. It’s inevitable. No matter how small or large your church, you will find people who offer their thoughts (whether you want to hear them or not).

There are three ways that we can react to criticism, two bad and one good:

1. Dig in.

Some pastors are convinced that they know the will of God so clearly that anyone who dares to disagree with them must be out of step with the Holy Spirit.

“I’m the spiritual leader” can easily foster an attitude that says, “They don’t know what they’re talking about.” The pastor digs in his heels and says, “Here I stand,” except he’s not Martin Luther, and the stakes are usually not very high.

There are definitely times when a leader should stand his ground and dig in his heels. But if your natural tendency is to dig in, you might actually be digging a hole for yourself.

2. Crumble.

Other leaders go to the opposite extreme. When faced with criticism, they try to please everyone.

People-pleasers get sucked into a cycle of always trying to put out fires. They are racing around trying to keep everyone happy. Their ability to set a vision is severely hindered by their primary commitment to keeping criticism at a bare minimum.

Unfortunately, those who crumble under criticism wind up attracting more of it. The critics don’t stop just because you do everything they want. You can never make everyone happy. Everyone wants you to be the strong, in-charge leader… until you make a decision they don’t like.

3. Discern.

The third way to handle criticism is to take it into consideration. You don’t immediately dig in. Nor do you quickly crumble. Why not? Because you’re not perfect. Humility requires you to recognize that you could be wrong, unwise or both.

Instead, look to see where the criticism is originating:

  • Is this a reputable person in your church?
  • Is this someone who has your best interests at heart?
  • Does this person always criticize?

Discern what kind of spirit the criticism is being offered in. If the person is hyper-critical, then you take the criticism with a grain of salt. If the person is generally positive and encouraging, then you may want to give their critique more thought. Discerning the source of criticism will go a long way in determining whether you should dig in or give in.

Sometimes, the person is reputable, positive, and wants the best for the church, and yet you still don’t see eye to eye. It happens. Even good church members sometimes have a vision that conflicts with that of the pastor.

The way you treat that brother or sister in Christ will go a long way in leading to a peaceful resolution. Even if they are not on board with your decision, you may ask them, “Can you give us the freedom to try this, even if we fail? Will you support this if we do it?”

There are two things that should roll off the back of the church leader: constant criticism and effusive praise. Don’t let either one stick to you too long.

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