Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him [Jesus] with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” Matt. 20:20-22
Lord Jesus, I’m still shocked when I read this story about two of your apostles, standing with their mom while she asks you to give her boys a position of privilege and power in your kingdom. How in the world could James and John possibly think this request would ever be appropriate, especially given the three years of mentoring and modeling to which you exposed them? Everything you taught and how you lived life absolutely contradicted their request. How dare they, how could they be so oblivious to the obvious?
But just as I climb onto my hobbyhorse of judgmentalism, the gospel dismounts me. I have to ask these questions of myself: How am I just like James and John? How do my words, attitudes, and choices contradict the very gospel that I love and defend? Who do I shock with the ways I misrepresent you and the wonders of your love?
Is it those who live with me or those who work with me? Those who taste my impatience when I’m behind a steering wheel? Those who overhear my idle chatter and self-indulgent banter in any of a number of settings? Those most exposed to my unbelief, my fears, my rudeness, my driven-ness, my insincerity, my irritability?
Jesus, I praise you for your patience and forbearance with me. Sit on your right or left? I’m just grateful to be in your kingdom, covered in your righteousness, secure in your heart. I could never drink the cup you alone drank for us on the cross.
The cup I now drink and the bread I now eat remind me of your death, unite me to your life, and call me to your likeness. Jesus, I don’t want to be incredulous over anyone’s sin but my own. Through the gospel, please make me less and less oblivious to my patently obvious need for your transforming grace. So very Amen I pray, in your patient and forbearing name.
