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A Prayer for Parents Learning to Love Their Gay Child

A Prayer for Parents Learning to Love Their Gay Child

(Occasionally I’ll get a request to write a prayer dealing with a specific issue or crisis. This prayer was born out of one of those requests, but also from a story I’ve been in several times. You may be in a similar story with a different storyline. Go the way of the gospel. This issue gives me a chance to highlight the incredible work of Harvest USA, a tremendous gospel-driven ministry, that walks with women and men in all kinds of broken sexual stories, heterosexual and homosexual. Check them out, www.harvestusa.org )

     God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Ps. 46:1-3

Dear Jesus, this Scripture seems appropriate in light of the phone call I just finished: a mom and dad in tears, shame, and great confusion—devastated to discover their son is gay. They feel like the earth has given way and the mountains have jumped into the ocean, for the world as they know it has just been turned upside down.

Jesus, there’s no safer or more welcoming refuge than you. You give us strength when hard stories and fresh crises sap our energy and buckle our knees. No one is better suited to provide gracious help for troubled hearts than you. I come boldly to your throne of grace.

My friends love you and they love their child, but they have no clue what this means or what to do next. They share a background like mine—one which convinced them same-sex attraction is a much more egregious and judgment-worthy sin than other sins. Because of this, their shock and fear makes them want to assign responsibility and find someone to blame—themselves, each other, the culture, the media… the list goes on.

But don’t let them turn on one another, Jesus. Blame and shame is never the way forward, no matter the story. More than anything else they need you and the grace and wisdom you promise. They’re not the point, you are—and loving their son well is preeminent. Please keep them free from stereotypes, bad information, and uninvited helpers.

In the next hours and days, calm their hearts and give them kindness beyond their own—your kindness. Understandably, there’s palpable tension and uncertainly in the home right now. I pray for a bridge of compassion and communication. Help them see their son not as a leper but as their son. Don’t let them objectify him, Jesus. Help them to listen, listen, listen. Bring your non-anxious presence into their hearts and home. Help them love their son as a sinner-saint, just like they are; not as someone they’re called to “fix.” The gospel, not “getting over this”, must prevail.

And I pray for their son, Jesus. Help me know how to best serve and care for him. He’s confused about you, now that he’s convinced about his homosexuality. Bring your mercy and grace to bear in powerful ways. Keep him far from those who would try to exploit his vulnerability—especially from those with evil intent.

The effects of the fall play out in our lives in so many ways—broken sexuality, the idolatry of greed, and the lust for power, to name a few. Though this young man’s story, sin, and weakness are different than mine, I don’t need you any less than he does, Jesus. Help me make that clear as we lean into this next season together. I pray for healing and deliverance for all of us. Bring much glory to yourself. Write many stories of redemption. So very Amen I pray, in your gracious and powerful name. Amen.

 


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