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I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. Phil. 3:12–15

Gracious Jesus, it’s good to be freed from the “paralysis of analysis”—an unhealthy, navel-gazing preoccupation with ourselves. But it’s equally good to be freed for examining our lives through the lens of the gospel.

I don’t know how old Paul was when he was when he wrote these words—maybe in his sixties or seventies—but it’s obvious that with an increase in age came an increase in gospel astonishment. He never grew bored exploring the unsearchable riches found only in you. He never tired of wrestling with the kingdom implications of the gospel. He stayed thirsty and hungry to grow in relationship with you.

Jesus, make me that kind of man. Give me this kind of maturity in the gospel. I’m thankful that it’s your grasp of me and not my grasp of you that defines this way of life. Sometimes I lift my hands in awe and gratitude for the way you love me. Sometimes I shake my fists at heaven like a pouting, demanding child. Sometimes I wring my hands in anxious unbelief—like a hapless orphan, insecure and fearful.

But I live and I will die secure in your loving palms and in the safe haven of your grace-filled heart. For you have given us a prize to win, not a wage to earn. We could never earned our way into a relationship with you, and we don’t maintain our relationship with you by our efforts either.

So what do I want for the rest of my days, Jesus? I cannot say it any better than Paul. I want to know you more intimately than ever. This is the one thing I want more than anything else. And I want to experience more of the power of your resurrection, for I have no power in myself to love others as you love me.

And I want to enter more fully into the fellowship of sharing in your sufferings—living out the birth pangs of new-creation life in this broken world which groans for its release from the bondage to decay—a release that is sure to come (Rom. 8:18–25). Our labors in you are not, nor will they ever be, in vain (Phil. 3:10–11).

Jesus, this is what I want—in my most gospel-sane moments, this is what I passionately want. Help me to have done with lesser things and be more fare more taken up with the things which matter most to you. So very Amen I pray, in your most glorious and loving name.

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