When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with our counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:21-26
Dear Jesus, thankfully, I can’t seem to stay bitter as long as I used to. I hope that’s a sign of maturity and not just being tired, because bitterness sure takes a lot of energy. It’s exhausting to keep on rehearsing the failures of others while minimizing your own responsibilities. You’ve have to constantly nurse your own grudges…fuel the flames of your self-righteousness… and stay in touch with people who share your sense of indignation and resentment. It’s more than enough to wear a person out! Well Asaph called the whole bitter endeavor “senseless and ignorant,” leading to beast-like behavior.
Jesus, I praise you today, once again, for the centering and settling power of the gospel. To see you afresh… to connect with you again… to commune with you this very morning is all I need and all I want. Life is simply too short… and mine is getting shorter all the time… life is way too short to be wasted on anything less than knowing, loving and serving you.
Jesus, in my most sane moments I realize that only you can slake the deepest thirst of my soul. Only you can give me the bread I constantly crave. Even if I got my will and way about everything else, there would still be a Grand Canon sized vacuum in my heart shaped like you. Even if people thought everything I want them to think about me… did everything I want them to do for me… said everything I want them to say about me and to me… it would not be enough.
Even if I lived in the climate of my choice, had all the money in the world, and had the church of my dreams … Even if I had a trout on every cast, sank every putt, and could run a marathon a day… Even if I could eat all the chocolate I want and not gain weight… spend time with all kinds of people and never have a disagreement… move my entire family and favorite friends to Switzerland… it would not be enough.
Jesus, you are heaven to me, period. Though I may want a bunch of other stuff, you alone are the One I desire. You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Keep me sane by the gospel… keep me free of all bitterness… keep me broken before you and make me a better man by knowing you. So very Amen, I pray, in your most glorious and gracious name.
