This past Sunday night I started a new sermon series (prompted by Alexander Strauch’s book Leading with Love) called “Learning to Love.” The first sermon was on encouragement from Romans 16. I don’t usually write a manuscript for Sunday evening, but I thought the basic outline might be helpful. These definitely aren’t all my notes for the sermon–I cut out the introduction, most of the exegetical material, and greatly compressed the rest–but this give the basic gist.
I. My definition of Christian encouragement: “highlighting the work of God’s grace evident in the gospel or in a gospel-centered person to the glory of God.”
II. This definition helps to distinguish between encouragement and flattery. Encouragement is not flattery because:
II.A. Encouragement is based on what is true.
II.B. Encouragement is kept in proportion.
II.C. Encouragement has no ulterior motive.
III. Four observations about the divinely inspired encouragement in Romans 16.
III.A. Paul recognized others publicly.
III.B. Paul was tender in expressing his affections.
III.C. Paul’s encouragement was rooted in his love for the gospel.
III.D. Paul doesn’t just encourage his friends and co-laborers as individuals, he cultivates an atmosphere of appreciation and affection in the whole church.
IV. Encouragement is a mark of the mature Christian because God is the great encourager.
Here are a few paragraphs from the actual sermon:
- The hard part about Christian encouragement is that as Christians we also know the danger of pride. So we must be humble in our receiving of encouragement. The humble response is not always to deny it, but to receive it and pass it on to God. Don’t put your hands out to always stop it (unless the encouragement is patently false). Don’t pull your hands in to hold on to it with all your might. Keep your hands moving to receive it and pass it along to God. Receive the flower of encouragement, take a look at it, and then put it in a vase for God. Or as I heard Alistair Begg say once, “a compliment is like perfume: sniff it, don’t ever swallow it.”
- We probably don’t think of Paul has a great encourager, more of a champion of the gospel or defender of the faith, but the only reason we don’t see him encouraging others is because it happens so frequently. Could you find ways to build up those you love in front of others? We tend to put people in their place more easily. We mention the two things that bother us instead of the ten things we appreciate. Or we give a compliment so that we can tear them down (“He’s a good friend. Nice guy. But…” or “Bless her heart…”). Again, God isn’t asking us to be fake. He isn’t telling us to be mindlessly positive about everyone and everything. But frankly that’s not the problem for most of us. We could use the practice–in emails, letters, in everyday conversation –of building people up with encouraging words. How do you publicly talk about your spouse? Your church? Your pastor? The people in your church? Your parents? Your kids? Your co-workers? Are their legitimate opportunities to sincerely encourage them directly or affirm them before others?
- Some of us do not show affection easily. And without the encouragement of tender affection, marriages grow cold, family dynamics get strained, churches become unbearable. You may not think you are discouraging or intimidating, but without any warmth from time to time, you will be. And don’t make your praise perfunctory. Some people are too emotionally stilted to ever say “Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord; also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well.” This is tender affection. There’s a difference between saying “Thanks” and saying “Your work in the Lord is not in vain.” A difference between calling someone “a nice guy” and “beloved.” A difference between saying “your in my thoughts” and telling someone “I hold you in my heart.”
- Paul isn’t just commending people for being really good at something. He is holding them up for honor because God’s work has been evident in them and the work they have done has been for God’s sake. These are fellow workers, fellow servants, brothers. These are fellow converts and fellow saints. Paul’s heart beats with gratitude for God for saving these people. And his heart overflows in encouragement because of the work for the gospel and by the power of the gospel that he sees in them.
- The strongest bonds in our friendships should be gospel bonds. The deepest affections ought to be stirred in us, not just because we like the same movies as someone else, or we appreciate the same foods, or we have the same sense of humor, or we share the same academic discipline, or we root for the same sports teams–these things are common graces to us and we can be thankful for them, but the deepest affection should be stirred by gospel ties and gospel friendships and a shared passion for the gospel.
- Paul wanted the church to be quick to encourage, not quick to condemn. He wanted them overflowing in praise, instead of overflowing in criticism. He wanted the church to be warm and invigorating, not cold and life-quenching. He didn’t want a church of boasters or flatterers. But he wanted a congregation where the members sought to honor one another above themselves, where culturally appropriate displays of physical affection were shared, a place where God’s grace was noticed and lifted up for the glory of God.
- I’m not suggesting you just smile all the time and act like everything is just fine. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing. But it does rejoice with the truth. Are you making known your rejoicing in the truth that you see in others?
- It may sound kind of soft to call God the great encourager, but think about it: God is constantly highlighting his own works of grace. He is always rejoicing in the truth. He says about Jesus “this is my beloved Son with whom I am well pleased.” He calls us beloved, little children, new creations. He made us in his image, and has crowned us with steadfast love and mercy. Because of the work of Christ, God accepts us instead of condemns us. And by this same work–making us humble lovers of truth and making others fruitful in the truth–we can encourage those who belong to Christ.
