Many of you reading this have lost a child—in miscarriage, in childbirth, as a newborn, or older. I hope that you will find this post by Lisa Blanco, full of gospel hope and encouragement and peace and pain, will be used of God to minister to you.

An excerpt:

Haddon struggled through severe anemia and a virus, and his sweet daddy visited him nearly every hour, loving his little son who looked almost identical to him. For 40 hours we were with him, hearing a roller coaster of good news and bad news. On April 2, the Lord took our sweet boy to be with him. Just before he passed, we were able to sing to him. Ernie sang “It Is Well” and I hummed “A Mighty Fortress” the best I could. I held him for the first time, telling him we’d see him soon. I passed him to Ernie, and when the time came to take all the machines off, Ernie quoted Numbers 6:24-26 as the last words Haddon could hear:

The LORD bless you, and keep you;
The LORD make his face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up his countenance on you,
And give you peace.

As our plans as parents have been thrown into confusion and sadness, we are faced with the question of what happens next. I long each morning to wake up to a crying baby to console in my arms. Ernie longs to come home from a long day of work to play with his son, and each time we walk to the garage we have to pass an empty nursery painted in blue. Through each seemingly impossible fear that rushes to our minds, the Lord has calmed us with several great truths about himself and our circumstance.

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6 thoughts on “On Losing a Baby”

  1. Angus says:

    Justin,

    Very important, and so many are affected by this – David Murray had a post on this and gathered all the helpful resources that were suggested in the link together in a single post here:

    http://headhearthand.posterous.com/miscarriage-death-of-a-child-need-help

  2. A dear friend of mine lost her second born son in February and reading this account brought tears to my eyes. What an encouraging testimony.

  3. Kate Snyder says:

    I lost my firstborn, my beautiful 7 lb. 12 oz. healthy baby boy. Forty-two years ago, I was forced, against my will, to give him away in a closed adoption. Absent from your Mother’s Day post (Moore’s too) are the hundreds of thousands of mothers who have lost their children to adoption through coercion. I can’t think of a better illustration of the power of sin to dehumanize people. Allow me to tell you one way it’s being done in, by, and through the church.

    Women have become vehicles and obstacles in the hands of selfish, sin-hardened hearts. Carol Jordan’s story (http://tinyurl.com/3el5lwq) is not uncommon; there are thousands of women with similar stories. The pregnant female becomes the vehicle to get what couples want – her baby. Then, once her child becomes theirs, she’s becomes the obstacle in the way of what they want – her out of their lives permanently. Hence, falsified birth certificates and sealed records laws, otherwise know as secrets and lies.

    Pure religion and undefiled before God is not coercing pregnant females to relinquish their children, which Christian CPCs are guilty of doing. Poor, young, or unmarried mothers-to-be are not unfit to parent because of their poverty, age, or marital status. And yet this is what they’re told to believe about themselves. It’s been the modus operandi at adoption agencies and CPCs for decades. James 1:27 says these are the needy ones we should be “visiting” by caring and providing for them, not covetously and deceptively prying their babies from their arms. Prepare a nursery for her baby with a bed next to the crib for her. That’s fulfilling James 1:27. But oppressing her, lying to her, and exploiting her vulnerability in order to obtain her child most certainly is not. And bedding down with a corrupt for-profit multi-billion dollar adoption industry marketing in human flesh isn’t exactly keeping oneself unspotted from the world.

    There needs to be repentance across the board (Bethany Christian Services, etc.) and repentance in the church as a whole. If the church were hearing God’s voice on this, all kinds of groups and organizations would be in place to help keep biological families together, but it has bought into a new gospel of ‘vertical adoption’ that strips mothers of their God-given right to parent.

    How can the church say it cares about orphans while trampling on the civil and human rights of adult citizens who were adopted as children? Any professing born again believer who does not actively support unrestricted open access to original birth certificates for adult adoptees is a hypocrite. Millions of Americans are prohibited by law from accessing personal records that pertain to their historical, genetic and legal identities. Such records are held by their governments in secret and without accountability, due solely to the fact that they were adopted. The states of Alaska, Oregon, Kansas, Alabama, New Hampshire and Maine are the only states where adult adoptees have unrestricted access to their own original birth records.

    God does not support the permanent separation of mother and child with no hope of reconciliation. You will search in vain to find any passage of Scripture that encourages women to “make an adoption plan” or that supports the break-up of the family for life.

    Remember these forgotten mothers. Jesus does, and He’s working behind the scenes to reunite families as I type.

  4. Allison says:

    I have had four miscarriages, and without question it is the most painful trial I have had in my whole life. I wrote a song to my unborn children called, “Tomorrow (I will see your face)”. Here is the link to it on my facebook account. It’s just a rough, accapella recording, but I am praying God will use it to bring comfort and healing to all those who have experienced this tragedy.
    http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150176646331186&saved

  5. kpolo says:

    Theology question: What definitive text would you cite to show that babies are saved? Are all babies saved? Is it not sufficient to rest on the perfect judgment of God, even if it is not to our liking?

  6. Adam says:

    @kpolo: I don’t know of any verse which definitively states that babies are saved. We must humbly and compassionately guard against giving people false assurances where scripture is silent.

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Justin Taylor


Justin Taylor is senior vice president and publisher for books at Crossway and blogs at Between Two Worlds. You can follow him on Twitter.

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