I can still remember my mom encouraging me to count sheep as a viable option to cure my adolesent insomnia. Even though it seemed strange to me to count sheep I was compliant. I can’t remember if it worked or not. At any rate, the saying endures through another generation.
I can tell you first hand, from a pastoral perspective, that counting sheep will not put you to sleep. In fact, it will do the opposite. If I wake up in the night and something comes to my mind concerning members of Emmaus or other believers that I love, then I am toast. I will toss and turn, restlessly praying for them.
Certainly other pastors can relate to this ministerial insomnia. As shepherds we love the sheep and feel their burdens. We also love the Good Shepherd and feel his burden. We know that as shepherds we will have to give an account for the sheep (Heb. 13.7). It is this burden of the sheep’s weakness, our weakness, and our accountability that makes for a long night.
This is not a surprise though because this is what we signed up for. Ministry is not about becoming a celebrity, getting rich, building our personal kingdoms, or having an “easy” day. Ministry really is the battelfield, the front lines of an unseen war zone with eternal ramifications. It’s tough to sleep when the air raid sirens are going off.
This is also not an occassion for pity or self-righteousness. This is not ”too-bad” or unfortunate. This is ministry. This is life. We should not feel like we are something special or worthy of special care. We are pastors who are–without Christ–worthy of hell.
This brings me to a final encouragement. When I awake with a burden sovereignly fastened to my soul by the benevolent king I am pleased to find myself meeting Jesus in my prayers. The Good Shepherd is already awake. He is alert at his post interceding for me and his sheep (Heb. 7.25ff). He is taking my requests and dipping them in the laver of his own blood as they are scented by his infinite merit. He is the God who never sleeps nor slumbers (Ps. 121) he is my and the church’s keeper. It is this truth that brings a smile to my soul. It the fact that Jesus, the resurrected and reigning high priest is caring for his flock, that encourages me and finally puts me back to sleep.
