Everybody has one of those friends who is supremely skilled in deconstructing the plots of movies or books. This person adeptly peels back the layers of the story like one of those wooden Russian dolls; they just keep on going and going. My wife and I love going to movies with this guy. In some ways we get more out of the pre and post movie than the actual movie. He thinks deeply and comprehensively about the story as a whole and the various individual parts.
I don’t think I can become this guy in the theater but I desire to be him in the prayer closet.
Let me explain: I have become more “skilled” in identifying the overt sin in my life (selfishness, frustration, envy, etc) but it is the underlying sin that I too often miss. In particular, I am talking about the tendency toward a sinful, self-bent even in the pursuit of good things!
This is as troubling as it is difficult.
Let me give some examples:
You may want to see many people come to faith through your witness of the gospel. But…is that because you seek validation, honor, and success? Or do you want to see God glorified and people come to know him? I have often seen this as an either or, but the more I scour my heart the more I see my selfish fingerprints smudging an ostensibly noble goal.
You may desire to see your children be obedient and God-fearing. But…is this because you seek affirmation and honor for your parenting prowess? Or do you want to see God glorified in the protecting, saving and securing of your kids? Again, I can get my fingerprints all over pure stuff.
(Preachers) You may want to preach a great, Christ-Centered, biblically faithful sermon. But..is this because you want people to regard your skill in the pulpit? Or do you truly want Christ to be seen as all-sufficient and glorious?
You may faithfully have a quiet-time of devotion and prayer everyday. But…is this because you really want to hear from and speak to the living God? Or do you want to assuage some guilt for other areas of sin? Or perhaps want to fill your magazine with a lot of Bible bullets to fire out and seem smart?
You may want to serve in the church, being an all-star in sacrificing time and money for the gospel. But…is this because you want to respond to the work that Christ has done basking in his blessing? Or do you want to earn the praise and recognition of others?
One of the most frightening thing about me is me. My hearts deceptiveness is rampant. It pretends to be an ally only to betray me. It takes good things and pollutes them. I smudge beautiful, seemingly God-glorifying things with selfish fingerprints.
Thanks be to God that in Christ there truly is no condemnation (Rom. 8.1) and that we me truly rest in his perfect record and motives for us. This frees us to scour our lives for sin. We can look in the obvious places, the evidently filthy composts of self-serving refuse. We should also look under the petals of what appears to be a good, godly bouquet. It is in the prayerful looking for the particular sins wrapped in good deeds that we find how truly complex the plot-line of our hearts are. Sin runs deep. But so does grace. Therefore, we watch, pray, and slay our sin with the gospel sword.
